Also, in this particular teaching institution’s archives, there was a very special pair of Siamese twins, stillborn, that were joined at the torso. I always thought these Siamese twins would make a very interesting dissection, but I knew the director of autopsy services would never agree to allow the specimen to be dissected.
My plan was to hide the formalin container, with the Siamese twins, in the autopsy suite with the other specimens stored there until I felt it safe enough to perform the dissection. Unfortunately I never reached a comfort level for such a risky venture. As luck would have it though, an addition of a new wing to the hospital resulted in the archives being moved to a new location. Many specimens were lost or misplaced in the shuffle. They’d never miss it.
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful heist? Imagine, Siamese twins! By this time I also decided that the specimen was too precious to debase by cutting it to shreds. I knew I wanted to steal the twins now, but I didn’t have a fucking clue what I would do with them once I got them! If you don’t dissect them, what the fuck do you do with them, put ‘em on the coffee table? Almost….
I put the formalin container, with the Siamese twins, in a box and sealed it meticulously. I wrapped it real nice. It was Christmas time and the twins were going to make an excellent Christmas gift for that special someone. I sent it off with a nice card and best Christmas wishes.
About a week later, I received a thank-you from the recipient of my gift, it read;
Gary,
Thank-you for the really wonderful and rather bizarre gift. I gave it a special place on my mantel alongside my father’s hand-carved duck decoys.
Merry Christmas,
Ed (Paschke)
The Final Fantasy...from Dobry's self-published "In Good Faith". |
