If god had meant for us to be vegans, he wouldn't have made meat taste so damn good!!!
Flanders and Swann, a wonderful English comedy team, once wrote a song titled "The Reluctant Cannibal."
Below is a link to it -- it's better with the music (on their CD), but even by themselves the words are a riot.
members.optusnet.com.au
If that does't work, just Google "Flanders Swann eat people" without the quotation marks.
For those too busy or lazy to go to the site to spend two minutes reading the whole thing, here are the highlights, but I highly recommend going to the site for the whole experience. If you do that, don't read further or you will spoil the surprise.
SPOILER COMING UP:
The basic story is of a young cannibal who one day rebels and says "I don't eat people. Eating people is wrong."
To which his father replies
" Going around saying "Don't eat people",
That's the way to make people hate'ya.
We always have eaten people, always will eat people,
You can't change human nature."
They discuss this for a bit, the father rationally explaining that the people being eaten are really having a nice time after an enjoyable chase through the forest sitting in the nice warm water with the onions and carrots. And, after all,
" But people have always eaten people,
What else is there to eat?
If the Juju had meant us not to eat people,
He wouldn't have made us of meat!"
At the end, the son is still resistant to any logical argument. (Remind you of anybody?) But they agree on one thing at the end:
Father: If this crazy idealistic idea of yours was to catch on, I just dunno where we would all be. Just about ruin our entire internal economy. Fortunately, I suppose it's catching on isn't really very likely - why, you might just as well going around saying "Don't fight people", for example...
Son: Don't fight people? [maniacial laughter] Don't fight people?! (more maniacial laughter)
Father: There, imagine? There, you see! All part of the same...
Both: (laughing) ... fantastical impossibility!
Father: That's the boy!
Both: RIDICULOUS! |
