RUDE PUNDIT: What the Real Desecration Is:
Let us say, and why not, that the Rude Pundit decides to get his nationalistic mojo workin' and needs himself an American flag. In order to get those Stars and Stripes, he doesn't head over to the Government Office of Official Flag-Givin' because, you know, no such office actually exists. Nope, instead, the Rude Pundit has to go shoppin'.
Yep, in order to get himself one of those sacred objects of our national pride, he's gotta head on over to the local Target (since the Rude Pundit would rather shove his hand into a fire ant pile than shop at Wal-Mart) or, you know, Stop 'N Shop, slam down his hard-earned cash, pathetically flirt with the cashier, bag that fucker, and head on home with his Made in China red, white, and blue (hey, maybe that's why the red is a little brighter). Then Target'll have to order some more flags. And somewhere in Wujiang City, slave-wage laborers or perhaps prisoners will get to work makin' more flags of freedom. Because if there's somethin' Americans love more than the U.S.A., it's cheap shit.
Or he could go online and buy himself a gross of Ol' Glories or get all specific and boutique and shit and find an American made American flag. Either way, though, the purchased flag, product of good American capitalism, is the Rude Pundit's goddamn property.
And being the Rude Pundit's goddamn property, he can do anything he fuckin' wants with it. He can fly it high and proud if he wants to. He can tie it to the back of a big fuckin' SUV and drag it through the negro streets at dawn. He can use the flag to wipe his balls and then gently wipe the kind and giving lips of his lover. He use it to polish a huge shiny brass crucifix. Just as he could any other piece of cloth, made for profit, that he bought in any of the mega-corporate stores throughout this nation.
Unless, of course, the desperate Republicans get their way and pass an amendment to the Constitution that declares, vaguely, awfully, "The Congress shall have power to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the United States." Seriously, how fucked do the Republicans have to know they are to bring this shit up again. How frantically they must need a wedge issue.
Tell you what: when someone makes it illegal for so-called patriots to keep flying their ripped up, fucked up, bug-corpse encrusted, car-adorning flags that they discovered they loved on about September 12, 2001, then we'll fuckin' talk.
// posted by Rude One @ 10:45 AM
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