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Biotech / Medical : Matritech (NASDAQ - NMPS)

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From: Savant7/11/2005 11:31:36 PM
   of 849
 
OT-speaking of urine tests...
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My
elbow hurts like H. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mark. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It
takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mark. He
deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the
computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you
for shopping at Wal-Mark."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began
wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mark, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer
prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at-Wal Mark.
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