Best of the Web Today - August 1, 2005
By JAMES TARANTO
Supreme Court Silliness
Just to clear things up: No, we were not on a busman's holiday. We did spend a few hours over the past two weeks keeping up with our e-mail, but our piece from The American Spectator and our three-part quinquennial retrospective, which appeared last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, were all written in advance. Well, all but one paragraph, anyway. We did write a new ending for Friday's column to take account of President Bush's appointment of Judge John Roberts to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Roberts is conservative but not "extreme," whatever that may mean, so easy confirmation seems assured. But the Angry Left is unappeasable, so some Democrats and liberals are making efforts to discredit Roberts. The result is highly entertaining.
First there was John Kerry*, who "urged the White House on [July 22] "to release 'in their entirety' all documents and memos from Supreme Court nominee John Roberts' tenure in two Republican administrations," according to the Associated Press:
"We cannot do our duty if either Judge Roberts or the Bush administration hides elements of his professional record," said the Massachusetts senator who was his party's presidential candidate last year.
Yes, this is the same John Kerry who claimed that his record as a "war hero" made him fit to be president but has yet to release his military records to the public.
A poster on the Daily Kos, a site as influential on the left as it is deranged, wrote (ellipsis in original):
When Roberts thanked his family, he mentioned his son, Jack . . . Roberts' wife's face fell. It was like a poker tell. I think we should research Jack.
Another poster wrote that Roberts's son "is probably gay," explaining that "extreme conservatives seem to have a lot of homosexual children." Jack Roberts is 4 years old.
Last week the New York Times weighed in with an editorial on a matter of grave concern:
When news organizations reported last week that Judge John Roberts, the Supreme Court nominee, was a member of the Federalist Society, a conservative legal group, the White House forcefully denied it. But it now appears that if he was not a member, he had a status that looked very much like a member's. This apparent contradiction raises questions about how forthcoming Mr. Roberts and the White House have been. . . .
Mr. Roberts still has no recollection of being a member of the society or on the steering committee, according to the White House. It may be that Mr. Roberts was never formally a member of the society, which keeps its membership secret. But at his confirmation hearings, the Senate should make sure that there was no intent to deceive senators or the public.
If Gail Collins & Co. had any wit at all, we'd think this was a conscious parody of McCarthyism.
But the funniest contribution of all comes from one Anita Hill, who, in an op-ed in Long Island, N.Y.'s Newsday, called the Roberts pick "a step back for diversity":
Why not choose a woman to replace retiring Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, the first woman on the Supreme Court? Or use this as an opportunity to nominate the first Latino to the court?
Here's another pertinent question: Who is Anita Hill? She is best known as a pioneer in bawdy broadcast humor, a sort of American counterpart to England's Benny Hill. In 1991 she made history by becoming the first person ever to utter the phrases "Long Dong Silver" and "pubic hair on my Coke" on national television.
Everyone knows what happened next. Americans turned out to have an appetite for juvenile sexual comedy. The following year they put Bill Clinton in the White House. In 1993 "Beavis and Butt-head" picked up where Anita Hill had left off. After Clinton's second inauguration, in 1997, "South Park" took televised ribaldry to new extremes.
Part of Hill's shtick was to allege that that Clarence Thomas had written her gags a decade earlier. Although he disclaimed authorship, some Democrats said that they believed her and that this made Thomas unsuitable to be a justice. Thomas was of course confirmed, but given Hill's role in trying to keep a black man off the Supreme Court, for her now to pose as a champion of diversity seems the height of hypocrisy.
* The haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam.
Bolton Gets the Nod
President Bush this morning installed John Bolton, whose nomination has been filibustered by Senate Democrats and bathetic Republican George Voinovich, as ambassador to the U.N. using a recess appointment, which lasts until January 2007.
Sen. Chris Dodd of Connecticut told Fox News yesterday, "He's damaged goods; this is a person who lacks credibility. . . . That's not what you want to send up, a person who doesn't have the confidence of the Congress." Of course, the only way to find out whether Bolton has the confidence of Congress is to hold a vote, and Dodd has led the effort to prevent that from happening.
Sen. Ted Kennedy responded to the recess appointment by characterizing it as "a devious maneuver that evades the constitutional requirement of Senate consent and only further darkens the cloud over Mr. Bolton's credibility at the U.N."--a characterization that more aptly applies to the filibuster. Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.
In any case, Bolton now represents America at the U.N., so the efforts of Dodd, Kennedy and others to undermine his credibility amount to an effort to undermine America's credibility.
Long Live the King
"Saudi Arabia's King Fahd has made progress overcoming his illness after two months in hospital, the government said," Reuters reported from Riyadh last week. Today Fahd's condition had improved enough that doctors were able to pronounce him dead. Fahd was largely a figurehead since being incapacitated by a 1995 stroke, and his successor, King Abdullah, "will not wrench the conservative kingdom onto a different path," predicts Reuters:
"I cannot imagine there will be any particular change in that (foreign) policy undertaken by the late King Fahd," the Saudi ambassador to London, Prince Turki al-Faisal, said. Asked whether the same applied to oil policy, he said: "Absolutely."
Apparently this is not a trend, then, but just a passing Fahd.
Suicide Journalism
Helen Thomas, American journalism's crazy old aunt in the attic, issued a suicide threat last week. "The day I say Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself," she told the Hill, a newspaper that covers Congress (fourth item).
But Matt Drudge reports Thomas is having second thoughts. "We were just talking--I was ranting--and he wrote about it," Drudge quotes her as saying, referring to the Hill's Albert Eisele. "That isn't right. We all say stuff we don't want printed."
Zarqawi Jane
Old habits die hard. Jane Fonda is making common cause with America's enemies again, London's Daily Telegraph reports:
Fonda is returning to anti-war activism and embarking on a cross-country tour to call for an end to US military operations in Iraq.
The actress, 67, said the protest trip would begin next March and she would travel on a bus powered by vegetable oil.
Karl Marx got a lot of things wrong, but he may have been right about the manner in which history repeats itself.
A Terrorist Parties in Reuterville
"Top terrorist Zakaria Zubeidi made a 'guest appearance' in a video prepared by the staff of Reuters news agency in Israel and the Palestinian Authority as a 'going away' gift for a colleague," the Israeli site Ynetnews.com reports:
Zubeidi, who heads Fatah's al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade in Jenin, has been named by security officials as a key figure in organizing terror attacks on Israeli civilians. . . .
A Reuters spokeswoman confirmed the video's existence, but said the London-based news organization is "not associated with any group or faction in any conflict."
The screening, which occurred in a Jerusalem restaurant last March, involved the showing of a video during a private party.
"The video's theme was what Israel would be like in 10 years," said an Israeli government official who attended the party and viewed the video.
"All of a sudden, at the end, there is Zakaria Zubeidi, playing the head of Reuters. Zubeidi was sitting in Reuters' Jenin office, saying he was Reuters' chief," the official said.
We guess one man's terrorist is another's "journalist."
London's left-wing Guardian, meanwhile, has sacked "trainee journalist" Dilpazier Aslam, who penned an apology for "sassy" suicide bombers in the wake of the July 7 attacks. "The move followed an internal inquiry into Aslam's membership of the political organisation Hizb ut-Tahrir," according to the Guardian's Steve Busfield:
A statement said: "The Guardian now believes continuing membership of the organisation to be incompatible with his continued employment by the company."
"Mr Aslam was asked to resign his membership but has chosen not to. The Guardian respects his right to make that decision but has regretfully concluded that it had no option but to terminate Mr Aslam's contract with the company."
The Independent, another left-wing British paper, describes Hizb ut-Tahrir as "one of Britain's most extreme Islamist groups." Blogger Scott Burgess reports a source tells him "that Albert Scardino, the Guardian's executive editor for news, has resigned as a direct result of Sassygate. My impression from that source's report is that his position had become untenable because of the split between Mr. Aslam's supporters and those who wanted him fired."
Here's another interesting angle on the media-terror nexus, from a report in London's Times by Nasra Hassan, who interviewed some Palestinian Arab suicide bombers: "One condition of the interviews was that, in our discussions, I not refer to their deeds as 'suicide,' which is forbidden in Islam." Hassan does use the term suicide repeatedly in the article, but we can think of one major news organization--like the Times, owned by News Corp.--for which this terrorist demand is official editorial policy.
No Substance
"Military investigators did not substantiate major charges of prisoner abuse contained in one FBI agent's e-mail that was read on the Senate floor by Minority Whip Richard J. Durbin as an example of U.S.-sanctioned torture at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba," reports the Washington Times.
That Durbin speech, of course, was the one in which he likened Gitmo interrogators to "Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime--Pol Pot or others--that had no concern for human beings," a comparison that would have been wildly over the top even if the FBI agent's claims had been the gospel truth. Durbin, it seems, is quite eager to believe the worst about American servicemen.
'French Family Values'
Saturday found us awaiting a train at Gare du Nord, a Paris train station, and reading the local edition of the New York Times, officially known as the International Herald Tribune. They run former Enron adviser Paul Krugman over there too, and his column that day was titled "French Family Values":
American conservatives despise European welfare states like France. Yet many of them stress the importance of "family values." And whatever else you may say about French economic policies, they seem extremely supportive of the family as an institution.
The Times' Paris editors, though, do have a sense of humor. Right below Krugman appeared a column by local Times columnist William Pfaff, who nicely debunked Krugman:
Today nearly half of French children are born outside marriage, but increasingly in "recomposed" families, largely free from social disapproval, and continuing to receive state benefits.
Neither Krugman nor Pfaff mentioned the thousands of French oldsters who perished during a heat wave a while back while their kids were on summer holiday.
'Scotty' Beams Up
Sad news for those of us who grew up loving the original "Star Trek": James Doohan, who played Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, the USS Enterprise's chief engineer, has gone to the great engine room up in the sky. Doohan died last month at 85 of Alzheimer's disease and pneumonia.
The original "Trek," which aired from 1966 through 1969, reflected a decidedly liberal worldview, but this was the liberalism of the postwar, pre-Vietnam era, before the hippies came along and ruined it. As this page notes, in one episode ("A Taste of Armageddon"), Scotty observed, "The best diplomat that I know is a fully loaded phaser bank." He would have approved of the Bush doctrine.
Man Bites Dog
"A woman who was upset over being searched bodily at an airport was convicted Tuesday of assaulting a security screener by grabbing the federal officer's breasts."--Associated Press, July 26
What Would We Do Without Experts?
"Expert Says Universe Hard to Understand"--headline, PhysOrg.com, July 15
What Would Alabama Do Without Experts in 2005?
"Experts in 2005 predict that Alabama will have had a black governor by 2055, but say little else is likely to change dramatically, though all said it's impossible to predict what would happen in the next 50 years."--Huntsville (Ala.) Times, July 24
What Would Women Do Without Studies?
"Study: Women Should Keep Their Ovaries"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 1
Usually He's in Reverse
"Howard Dean Will Be in Park Today"--headline, Idaho Statesman (Boise), July 15
Why'd I Leave My Stash in the Chevy, Man?
"Weed Discovery Brings Calls for GM Ban"--headline, Guardian (London), July 26
Golf Is a Rough Sport
"Norman Shoots 76 at Senior British Open"--headline, Associated Press, July 21
Age Hasn't Been Kind to Him
"Convicted Spy Pollard Loses Appeal"--headline, Associated Press, July 22
And They Ran, They Ran So Far Away
"Postmen who were dive-bombed by a flock of seagulls have been replaced after it was found that female staff on the same delivery round were able to do their job unharmed."--Times (London), July 27
Oh Sure, Blame the Computer!
"PC Who Downloaded Child Porn Is Jailed"--headline, Guardian (London), July 30
Not Too Brite--CXCIV
"A Croatian farmer was killed when a cow he was about to milk fell and crushed him," Reuters reports.
Oddly Enough!
(For an explanation of the "Not Too Brite" series, click here.)
It's the Eponymy, Stupid
The BBC carries a series of eyewitness accounts of a thankfully failed attempted series of bombings in London's Underground last month. The last one got our attention: "Cindy Butts, Deputy Chair of the Metropolitan Police Authority, was on a bus at Shepherd's Bush when the area was cordoned off."
If Cindy Butts is the deputy chair, that must mean the chair is above Butts. Usually it's the other way around.
Getting Clinton's Goat
"Former US president Bill Clinton has been offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter by a love-struck African government official," Sky News reports:
Mr Clinton was offered the deal on a recent trip to Kenya.
He was offered the animals as a traditional African way of getting a father to give away his daughter's hand in marriage. . . .
Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor wrote to Mr Clinton through Kenya's Foreign Minister.
He said: "Had I succeeded in wooing Chelsea, I would have had a grand wedding.
"I would have invited South African Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu to preside at the ceremony."
Nairobi's Standard has more details on the offer:
In 2000 when Chelsea, her father and mother, now Senator Hilary [sic] Rodham Clinton, visited East Africa, Chepkurgor, then a Fourth Year student at Moi University, tried to make his intention clear. He wrote to Clinton, offering himself as a suitor for Chelsea. . . .
He sent the letter through then Foreign Affairs minister Dr Bonaya Godana and then US Ambassador to Kenya Johnny Carson.
But, instead of the positive response he was anticipating, Chepkurgor received visitors from the National Security Intelligence Service (NSIS). His letter had sent security chiefs in a spin. . . .
"I could not even meet Johnny Carson so I wrote the letter," he says.
In the letter, Chepkurgor praised Clinton's leadership style, the Monica Lewinsky scandal notwithstanding. He commended Hillary for standing by her husband "like an African woman" in the face of the scandal. He told Clinton to consider retiring to Africa.
It doesn't sound as though his prospects with Chelsea are very promising, and he definitely won't meet Johnny Carson now--though maybe it would be some consolation if Jay Leno would invite him on.
Everyone's a Critic
"An American Airlines flight returned to Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport shortly after taking off [July 18] because a threatening note was found on board," reports the South Florida Sun-Sentinel:
Flight 605 departed from the airport for San Juan at 6:53 p.m. It turned back when a passenger discovered a napkin with a bomb threat written on it, FBI Spokeswoman Judy Orihuela said.
A passenger found the note when they [sic] flipped down their tray table, Orihuela said. The note said "bomb" repeatedly and had "meet the parents" written in parentheses.
We're not sure we get it. Why all the fuss over a movie review? |
