STUPID JUDGE TRICKS
NEW YORK POST
Editorial
December 26, 2005
Here's a candidate for the next segment of David Letterman's "Stupid Human Tricks" feature: New Mexico District Court Judge Daniel Sanchez.
Sanchez last week granted a temporary restraining order against the late-night talk-show host at the request of a local woman who — to put it as kindly as possible — is nutty as a fruitcake.
Colleen Nestler, of Santa Fe, claims that Letterman — in cahoots with Regis Philbin and actor Kelsey Grammer — has, for more than a decade, been secretly communicating with her by sending coded love messages during his TV show routines.
Such as the time, she says, when Letterman spoke the words, "Marry me, Oprah."
Now, to most listeners, the phrase was part of a long-term bit he'd been doing to promote the upcoming appearance on his show of Oprah Winfrey. Not so, says Nestler — "Oprah" actually is one of Letterman's secret names for her.
Apparently, though, she's had enough of this long-distance "relationship." She wants Letterman — whom she's never met, by the way — legally stopped from even thinking about her and ordered to keep 100 feet away and to "release me from his mental harassment and hammering."
Believe it or not, Judge Sanchez actually bought in to this loopy nonsense — and issued the injunction.
Said the judge: "If they make a proper pleading, then I grant it" — referring to a standard form for obtaining a restraining order.
So, according to Sanchez, as long as the papers are properly filled out, he's more than happy to grant a restraining order. No matter that the person filling them out sounds like she just landed from Neptune.
Unfortunately, this means Letterman had to send his lawyers to Santa Fe to argue against this nonsense.
Nestler's claims, said one of the performer's attorneys, "are absurd and frivolous on their face."
You'd think that would be obvious — to everyone except Judge Sanchez, that is.
Memo to the judge: Your 15 minutes are over. Now just dismiss this stupid order.
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