An 8 ounce quail coming at you, beak first, is like a small guided missile. Take one in the eye and they'll forever call you "one eye," take one in the face and you'll look like you got a dart in the nose, take one in the mouth and you'll be spitting feathers for an hour. And the little bastards are mean.
It's a tough sport. The kind of sport that wimps shy away from but real men approach with steely determination and caution.
Some mealy-mouthed critics don't understand how tough it is. They prattle on and on about how the birds aren't armed. Ha! Ha! They've never been road hunting, just cruising along dreaming of that red-eyed, feathered, kamikazee, hell bent on its screaming beak-first attack.
Then you hear that dreaded call, "QUAIL IN THE BRUSH!!!"
At first you don't want to get out of the vehicle and then you remind yourself; "I lived through Vietnam, I can live through this." It flashes through your mind that, in fact, you lived through Vietnam by not getting out of the car but the thought flies past like a whore walking by your Ford Escort on a beeline for a Porche.
Your gun no longer seems big enough but you clutch it tightly in your aged, shaking hands and take that fateful step into the dry brush of that Texas dude ranch. It's quiet out here, too quiet, and something is nudging the back of your mind. Where are they? Where are the deadly little maggots?
And they're there, hidden in the brush and waiting for the chance to take to the air with beating wings. This is what you live for; the risk, the danger, the thrill. It's a lot like war..you know that because you heard that from someone who knew a lot about hunting birds and he said he talked to someone who was so poor he actually had to fight in a war. (What a bozo that guy must have been..)
Tough men don't flinch from this kind of Quail action.
There's the blast of wings!!!! You pull down on one of the big bastards. He's at least 10 ounces if he's an ounce and he's got a sneer on his beak. He's quartering away with his little topknot flapping in the breeze but you're not fooled. He'll turn into you soon, probably trying for the heart...!!!the heart!!! You swing the barrel hard left and blast him right in the...Shit, the damn attorney put his stupid ass right in the way.
Man down!! Man down!!! We've got a friendly down. Call in the medivac. Damn, what could I do?
These friendly fire incidents are killing us. |
