ALBERTA (SBP) -- As with every third monday in February, residents of Alberta enjoyed a provincially sanctioned day off with pay in order to spend quality time with their families. Many of the residents, formerly Saskatchewanians, have more for which to be particulary thankful than just a paid day off in the middle of winter.
“I love this day off!” beamed Scott Lawrence, an electrician working in Edmonton, “It is so wonderful to just have a day where I can spend it with my family and celebrate the fact that I do not live in Saskatchewan.”
Family Day, as it is officially called, is a statutory holiday enjoyed by residents of Alberta. The day is spent like most holidays with families going on sojourns such as ski trips, going to movies, and just basking in the fact they do not have to go to work like their Saskatchewan counterparts. Additionally, many former Saskatchewan residents now living in Alberta also take the time to act like arrogant pricks towards their neighbors to the east.
“Yeah, I phoned my cousin in Regina and reminded him that I have the day off simply because I live in Alberta and am an Albertan,” said Lorne Rita, a refridgeration mechanic in Calgary, “I used to live in Saskatchewan so I know all about having to go to work when it's colder than my wife after a disagreement.”
Despite unseasonably warm tempertures in Saskatchewan, it was also still warmer in Alberta and made Family day that much more enjoyable.
Continued Rita: “So, my cousin's like 'screw you' and I'm like, 'well, if you move to Alberta, you won't have to listen to me brag about the day off' and he's like 'but I like being a failure and I'm queer' and I'm like, 'well, i'm off to roll around on the pile of money I made this week from our prosperity cheques'.”
Other Alberta residents decided to not be as prickish.
“I just phoned my parents to wish them a happy family day,” said Marlene Olater of Red Deer, “We had a nice talk about the days when I lived in Saskatchewan and how much more successful I am now that I'm in a province with an free market economy not controlled by unions.
“Since they love me and want the best for me, it only made sense that I leave the province like all of my friends and family did before me.”
For what it's worth, Saskatchewan has considered adding a mid winter holiday of it's own that would be similar to Alberta's. While not finalized yet, leading suggestions for naming the holiday include, “We're Not Manitoba” Day.
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