Best of the Web Today - March 2, 2006
By JAMES TARANTO
All in the Family
"Bill Clinton, former US president, advised top officials from Dubai two weeks ago on how to address growing US concerns over the acquisition of five US container terminals by DP World," reports the Financial Times:
Mr Clinton, who this week called the United Arab Emirates a "good ally to America," advised Dubai's leaders to propose a 45-day delay to allow for an intensive investigation of the acquisition, according to his spokesman. . . .
Mr Clinton's spokesman said: "President Clinton is the former president of the US and as such receives many calls from world leaders and leading figures every week. About two weeks ago, the Dubai leaders called him and he suggested that they submit to the full and regular scrutiny process and that they should put maximum safeguards and security into any port proposal."
What makes this interesting is that Hillary Clinton*, who at least on this issue has been one of the Senate's most hysterical xenophobes, is a distant relative of the former president.
* New York's junior senator, who speaks in even tones and conveys her displeasure with temperate phrases (except when she's really angry).
What Would Most Do Without the 22nd Amendment?
"Poll: Most Don't Think Clinton Can Win in 2008"--headline, Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.), Feb. 23
What Would Africa Do Without Clinton?
"Clinton: Africa Faces Many Challenges"--headline, Associated Press, March 1
Howard Dean's Flying Circus
The Democratic Party's official blog features excerpts from a speech chairman Howard Dean delivered the other day to the Jewish Council for Public Affairs:
The Democrats have a better idea. First we will conclude the negotiations with the Chinese and the North Koreans to disarm North Korea. Secondly, under no circumstances will a Democratic Administration ever allow Iran to become a nuclear power. Three, we will kill or capture Osama bin Laden and four, the authority and the control of the ports of the United States must be retained by American companies.
Dean seems to be lifting material from "Monty Python's Flying Circus." This is from a sketch called "How to Rid the World of All Known Diseases":
Alan (John Cleese): Well, last week we showed you how to become a gynecologist. And this week on "How to Do It" we're going to show you how to play the flute, how to split an atom, how to construct a box girder bridge, how to irrigate the Sahara Desert and make vast new areas of land cultivatable, but first, here's Jackie to tell you all how to rid the world of all known diseases.
Jackie (Eric Idle): Hello, Alan.
Alan: Hello, Jackie.
Jackie: Well, first of all become a doctor and discover a marvelous cure for something, and then, when the medical profession really starts to take notice of you, you can jolly well tell them what to do and make sure they get everything right so there'll never be any diseases ever again.
Alan: Thanks, Jackie. Great idea.
Back in 1988, Joe Biden's presidential campaign ended in scandal when he was found to have plagiarized material from the speeches of British pol Neil Kinnock. Now it seems the same is going to happen to Dean. To coin a phrase, those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.
The Phantom Menace
"Taliban Rebels Still Menacing Afghan South" reads the headline on a New York Times dispatch from Loy Karez, Afghanistan:
Four years after the Taliban were ousted from power by the American military, their presence is bigger and more menacing than ever, say police and government officials, village elders, farmers and aid workers across southern Afghanistan.
Surely the Times is exaggerating when it claims the Taliban's presence is "bigger and more menacing than ever," given that the Taliban actually ran the country at one point.
In any case, regular readers of the Times have got to be pretty confused by the suggestion that the Taliban are menacing at all. After all, it was only five days ago that the Times magazine ran a puff piece on Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi, a former Taliban official who is now a Yale student and (if the article is to be believed) a big old cuddle bear.
Those looking to the Times for news of Iraq will find no more clarity. As Mickey Kaus notes, just last Friday a Times headline informed readers: "More Clashes Shake Iraq; Political Talks Are in Ruins." Ruins!
Yet today's Times carries a report on Iraq's political talks, which don't sound ruined at all. Today's piece doesn't explain how the talks got unruined. Kaus writes, "I'm not saying Bill Keller's headline and lede writers were amping up the Iraq hysteria in order to manufacture another Tet. Maybe they just have no judgment or perspective," but our guess is he's being too kind.
The Myths of Katrina
Six months after Hurricane Katrina, the New Orleans Times-Picayune debunks one of the anti-Bush media myths of that disaster:
On the day that Hurricane Katrina roared ashore, President Bush and a top presidential aide were worried about whether New Orleans' levees had held, according to a transcript of discussions among disaster officials on the front lines of the storm.
Those concerns, expressed about midday Aug. 29, are in contrast to an image of a detached president.
Will journalists now apologize for perpetuating that image? Don't hold your breath.
Great Moments in Public Education
"An Overland High School teacher who criticized President Bush, capitalism and U.S. foreign policy during his geography class was placed on administrative leave Wednesday afternoon after a student who recorded the session went public with the tape," reports the Denver Post:
In the 20-minute recording, made on an MP3 player, teacher Jay Bennish described capitalism as a system "at odds with human rights." He also said there were "eerie similarities" between what Bush said during his Jan. 28 State of the Union address and "things that Adolf Hitler used to say."
The United States was "probably the single most violent nation on planet Earth," Bennish also said on the tape.
The Post has a copy of the recording here. Superintendent Monte Moses tells the paper that Bennish's one-sided rant appears to constitute "a breach of district policy," which "calls for both sides to be present . . . in the interest of intellectual discourse."
Cheers to sophomore Sean Allen for bringing the incident to light.
Weakly Reader
The Senate voted 95-4 yesterday to add civil-liberties protections to the USA Patriot Act, now up for reauthorization. One of the dissenting quartet was Wisconsin Democrat Russ Feingold, who opposed the original Patriot Act back in 2001. The Associated Press reports:
Feingold, a possible Democratic presidential candidate, said: "I am disappointed in this result. But I believe this fight has been worth making."
With that, he began reading the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
Well, better late than never, we guess, but shouldn't he have begun reading them before going to Congress?
Ruth Van Winkle
An Associated Press dispatch on the Supreme Court's oral arguments in the Texas redistricting cases includes this detail:
The subject matter was extremely technical, and near the end of the argument Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dozed in her chair. Justices David Souter and Samuel Alito, who flank the 72-year-old, looked at her but did not give her a nudge.
Our sympathies are with Justice Ginsburg; we've been known to drift off during meetings too. It's worth noting, though, that this is the sort of thing a conservative justice would never be allowed to live down.
We Shoulda Known It Was Too Good to Be True!
"Earlier today, reports began circulating across the globe that I have recently stated that Jews can go to heaven without being converted to Jesus Christ. This is categorically untrue."--Jerry Falwell, "A Gracious Correction of the Jerusalem Post," March 1
Col. Gadhafi Cancels Judge Wapner
"Libya has released dozens of political prisoners, including members of the Muslim Brotherhood, a political party outlawed in Libya. . . . The 85 political prisoners, most of them professionals and students, were originally tried by the People's Court--a court which was abolished last year."--BBC Web site, March 2
'I Wish I Knew How to Quit Ewe'
"The makers of the gay cowboy flick 'Brokeback Mountain' were too rough on sheep, an animal-rights group charged yesterday."--New York Post, March 2
What Can We Do for Chastity?
"Pope Opens Lent With Call to Fight for World Peace"--headline, Reuters, March 1
What Would We Do Without Studies?
"Study: Reading Key to College Success"--headline, Associated Press, March 1
What Would We Do Without Men Sentenced to Church?
" 'People Are People,' Says Man Sentenced to Church"--headline, Cincinnati Enquirer, March 2
What Would Portly Japanese Men Do Without Underwear Experts?
"Portly Japanese Men Turn to Underwear Experts"--headline, Independent Online (South Africa), March 2
What Would Bears Do Without Non-Experts?
"Non-Experts Could Have Helped With Bear Decision"--headline, Richmond Times-Dispatch, March 2
You Only Live Twice
"Jurors began deliberations Wednesday for a man who was convicted of murdering three people for a second time."--KPRC-TV Web site (Houston), March 1
Bottom Story of the Day
"Colerain Avenue Looked At"--headline, Cincinnati Enquirer, March 2
Bottom Story of the Century
"Asteroid Has Minor Chance of Hitting Earth in Century"--headline, Space.com, March 1
Young Fogeys
The world is going to hell in a hand basket, Jennifer Lane, a student at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, reports in a Daily Collegian column:
No matter how you look at it, our society has gotten out of control. No one knows who they are [sic] anymore, and there are a lot of pessimistic attitudes walking around.
During the 1940s and 1950s, everything was carefree and wonderful. The war was over, and the baby boom began. Every theatrical production had huge dresses and bright, beautiful colors to represent the love and optimistic point of view everyone had. What has happened to that world? It was a time where people didn't have to step lightly around politically correct issues, when America was the greatest thing since sliced bread and divorce rates were only 2.6 per 1,000 people (versus today, 4.0/1,000 people) according to census data.
It didn't use to be like this; life is so hard for young people now. Just ask 'em, they'll tell you. |
