BEST OF THE WEB
BY JAMES TARANTO
Monday, March 13, 2006 2:56 p.m.
The Sad Case of Claude Allen
The police department of Montgomery County, Md., on Friday announced the arrest of a Gaithersburg man "for a continuing retail store theft scheme":
Claude Alexander Allen, age 45, . . . was charged with theft scheme over $500 and theft over $500. . . . On January 2, 2006, a Target store Loss Prevention Manger observed an unknown man enter the store located at 25 Grand Corner Avenue in Gaithersburg. He was observed in the store with an empty Target bag in a shopping cart. The man was then seen selecting merchandise throughout the store and placing items in the Target bag. He put additional items in his cart. The man then went to guest services where he produced a receipt and received a refund for the items he had just selected from the store shelves. After receiving the refund he left the store without paying for the additional merchandise in the shopping cart. He was apprehended by the store employee.
Police allege that "Allen had been receiving refunds in an amount exceeding $5,000 during last year":
He would buy items, take them out to his car, and return to the store with the receipt. He would select the same items he had just purchased, and then return them for a refund. . . . Throughout 2005 he obtained refunds for items ranging from clothing, a Bose theater system, stereo equipment, and [a] photo printer to items valued only at $2.50.
What makes this interesting is who Claude Allen is. Last month, as the New York Times reports, he resigned as the White House's top domestic policy adviser, ostensibly to spend more time with his family. Earlier President Bush had nominated him for a seat on the Fourth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, but he withdrew his name after Democrats filibustered the nomination.
Assuming that the charges are true, this is one of those crimes that just make you scratch your head. Why would someone in a prominent position, who earned (according to the Times) $161,000 a year, risk it all to steal the equivalent of just over a week and a half's pay? Allen's alleged crime is neither petty enough to be excused nor big enough to be explained. It's just pitiful.
Allen is said to be something of a moralist, and left-wing bloggers are, predictably enough, exultant. Typical is this comment from Daily Kos diarist "DarkSyde":
Allen was a big abstinence only crusader and led several assaults on AIDS service organizations as well. This paragon of moral values was recruited by Karl Rove.
It's a familiar theme: Left-wing antimoralists attack right-wing moralists when the latter are found engaging in some crime or sin or vice. But a moralist's own propensity for immoral behavior does not discredit his moralism. After all, the temptation to do wrong is a universal human trait. Perhaps those in whom that temptation is strongest also have a more acute awareness of the need for social restraints to prevent bad acts.
Still, as John Podhoretz notes, the left-wing glee at Allen's apparently self-inflicted plight is understandable:
Lot of leftist Schadenfreude at the arrest of top White House aide Claude Allen, and who could blame them? If the situation were reversed--if, say, a John Conyers staffer had been appointed to a federal judgeship by Bill Clinton, was blocked by Republicans, was then given a job with a fancy title at the Clinton White House and then abruptly resigned because, it turned out, he had shoplifted--the glee on the Right would have been irrepressible.
Having said that, I'm getting genuinely insane e-mail following a few Atrios postings about my "Who the heck is Claude Allen" posts in the past few days--e-mails accusing me of "lying" to "cover up" for the White House and then cursing me out in the language of eleven year-olds. This suggests to me that the next few weeks are going to feature some wild theorizing according to which Karl Rove and the President assigned Claude Allen to steal from Target. The Bush haters can't even allow themselves to enjoy their Schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude, it would seem, can be a sign of psychological health. Now there's an interesting insight.
Monty Feingold's Flying Senate
"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at your so-called Arthur King! . . . I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal-food-trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! . . . Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!"--French soldier, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," 1975
"A liberal Democrat and potential White House contender is proposing censuring President Bush for authorizing domestic eavesdropping, saying the White House misled Americans about its legality. 'The president has broken the law and, in some way, he must be held accountable,' Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., told The Associated Press in an interview. A censure resolution . . . simply would scold the president."--Associated Press, March 12, 2006
Famous for Being Secret
Remember Valerie Plame, whose "exposure" as a CIA paper-pusher led to an Angry Left firestorm, the appointment of a special prosecutor, and the indictment of Scooter Libby? A Chicago Tribune investigation provides more evidence that the entire kerfuffle is about nothing:
Plame's secret life could be easily penetrated with the right computer sleuthing and an understanding of how the CIA's covert employees work.
When the Tribune searched for Plame on an Internet service that sells public information about private individuals to its subscribers, it got a report of more than 7,600 words. Included was the fact that in the early 1990s her address was "AMERICAN EMBASSY ATHENS ST, APO NEW YORK NY 09255." . . .
After the completion of her Athens tour, the CIA reportedly sent Plame to study in Europe. According to her husband, former U.S. Ambassador Joseph Wilson, Plame was living in Brussels when the couple first met in 1997.
Two years later, when Plame made a $1,000 contribution to Vice President Al Gore, she listed her employer as Brewster-Jennings & Associates, a Boston company apparently set up by the CIA to provide "commercial cover" for some of its operatives.
Brewster-Jennings was not a terribly convincing cover. According to Dun & Bradstreet, the company, created in 1994, is a "legal services office" grossing $60,000 a year and headed by a chief executive named Victor Brewster. Commercial databases accessible by the Tribune contain no indication that such a person exists. . . .
After Plame left her diplomatic post and joined Brewster-Jennings, she became what is known in CIA parlance as an "NOC," shorthand for an intelligence officer working under "non-official cover." But several CIA veterans questioned how someone with an embassy background could have successfully passed herself off as a private-sector consultant with no government connections.
Genuine NOCs, a CIA veteran said, "never use an official address. If she had [a diplomatic] address, her whole cover's completely phony. I used to run NOCs. I was in an embassy. I'd go out and meet them, clandestine meetings. I'd pay them cash to run assets or take trips. I'd give them a big bundle of cash. But they could never use an embassy address, ever."
Another CIA veteran with 20 years of service agreed that "the key is the [embassy] address. That is completely unacceptable for an NOC. She wasn't an NOC, period."
It's hard to see why Libby should be prosecuted for perjury given the absence of any underlying crime. Patrick Fitzgerald would show real courage if he admitted his mistake and dropped the charges.
Torturing the News
Tom Fox, a member of the anti-American Christian Peacekeeper Teams, has been murdered by terrorists in Iraq who held him hostage for more than three months, the New York Times reported on Saturday. On Sunday, the paper carried a follow-up report that Fox "had apparently been tortured by his captors before being shot multiple times in the head and dumped on a trash heap next to a railway line in western Baghdad."
The story of Fox's death ran on page A8; the story of his torture, on page A10. So what made the Times' front page on Saturday? Yet another story about Abu Ghraib.
Murtha? Who's That?
From MediaMatters.org:
In his March 10 "Best of the Web Today" column, Wall Street Journal OpinionJournal.com editor James Taranto falsely claimed that Media Matters for America "cheered" Rep. John P. Murtha's (D-PA) call for the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq but also "denied that he had done any such thing." Media Matters neither endorsed nor condemned Murtha's proposal, nor did we deny Murtha called for the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq.
Boy, these guys are desperate to distance themselves from Murtha, aren't they?
Gore Derangement Watch
"I genuinely believe that American democracy faces a time of trial and challenge right now more serious than any that we have ever faced," Al Gore told an audience in West Palm Beach, Fla., yesterday. Naturally, he isn't referring to America's enemies but to President Bush, as the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reports:
Gore cited a litany of issues, including the Bush administration's assertions of executive power, its fumbled response to Hurricane Katrina and its backing of a secret, domestic surveillance program, warrantless searches and interrogation methods used in Iraq and the war on terror.
This is a threat to democracy "more serious than any that we have ever faced"? More serious than the the Whiskey Rebellion, the Civil War or Reconstruction? During his 2000 campaign, Gore became known for a penchant to exaggerate, but this is the biggest exaggeration ever! Even if President Bush were as bad as Gore and his Angry Left cohorts say, his administration will be history in less than three years.
The Sun-Sentinel article also contains this jaw-dropper:
"This was the scene of a crime," said West Palm Beach Mayor Lois Frankel, whose son, Marine Capt. Benjamin Lubin, has served in Afghanistan.
"We're very proud of him," Frankel said of her son. "But I can tell you, if Al Gore had been president, my son would not have been at war."
Does Frankel really think that President Gore would not have responded militarily to 9/11?
Homelessness Rediscovery Watch
"If George W. Bush becomes president, the armies of the homeless, hundreds of thousands strong, will once again be used to illustrate the opposition's arguments about welfare, the economy, and taxation."--Mark Helprin, Oct. 31, 2000
"The region's ambitious 10-year timetable to end homelessness is in serious trouble, undercut and underfunded. The Bush administration is sending mixed signals, and things are about to get worse."--subheadline, Seattle Weekly, March 8, 2006
Dictators Who Love Too Much
"Preliminary results of an autopsy Sunday showed former Yugoslav president Slobodan Milosevic died of a heart, an official of the UN war crimes tribunal said."--Associated Press, March 12
Someone Alert the ACLU!
"FBI Agent Faces Cross in Moussaoui Trial"--headline, Associated Press, March 13
Cause and Effect
"Go Ahead, Drink Bacon Grease for Breakfast"--healdine, LiveScience.com, March 13
"Scientists: Beaches Could Get Ugly Again This Year"--headline, Naples (Fla.) Daily News, March 13
Why Would Anyone Want to Win Those?
"Teens Gamble With Food Allergies"--headline, CNN.com, March 13
What Would Humans Do Without Experts?
"Experts: Humans Still Evolving"--headline, Indianapolis Star, March 12
What Would Amateurs Do Without Pediatricians?
"Amateur Body Piercing Dangerous: Pediatrician"--headline, Canadian Broadcast Corp. Web site, March 13
If Only He'd Stop Jabbering About His New Ascots
"Clinton Quiet About Past Wal-Mart Ties"--headline, Associated Press, March 10
Only 12 Readers Left?
"Publisher to Buy Newspaper Chain, Then Sell 12 Newspapers"--headline, New York Times, March 13
Simon & Schuster Belittle Brown After Random House Destroyed
"McGraw, Hill Blast Katrina Cleanup Efforts"--headline, Associated Press, March 10
George Bush Doesn't Care About Black Devils
"Blue Devils Survive Hurricanes"--headline, Associated Press, March 10
Bottom Story of the Day
"Sheehan Cancels Trip to Europe"--headline, Associated Press, March 13
Yeast of Eden
At the Oscars, host Jon Stewart observed:
A lot of people say this town is too liberal, out of touch with mainstream America, an atheistic pleasure dome, a modern-day beachfront Sodom and Gomorrah, a moral black hole where innocence is obliterated in an endless orgy of sexual gratification and greed. I don't really have a joke here. I just thought you should know a lot of people are saying that. I've been to the parties!
George Clooney then answered by saying, "I'm proud to be out of touch."
But it turns out that what Hollywood is really out of touch with isn't mainstream America but the yeasty ferment. Haven't heard about the yeasty ferment? Annie Proulx, author of the short story about homosexual shepherds that became "Brokeback Mountain," has a delightfully catty lament in London's Guardian about the film's failure to win Best Picture:
The people connected with Brokeback Mountain, including me, hoped that, having been nominated for eight Academy awards, it would get Best Picture as it had at the funny, lively Independent Spirit awards the day before. . . . We should have known conservative heffalump academy voters would have rather different ideas of what was stirring contemporary culture.
Roughly 6,000 film industry voters, most in the Los Angeles area, many living cloistered lives behind wrought-iron gates or in deluxe rest-homes, out of touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated city, decide which films are good. And rumour has it that Lions Gate inundated the academy voters with DVD copies of Trash--excuse me--Crash a few weeks before the ballot deadline.
Next year we can look to the awards for controversial themes on the punishment of adulterers with a branding iron in the shape of the letter A, runaway slaves, and the debate over free silver.
We'd say the debate over free silver is due for an Oscar, since the last major movie about the subject lost out to "Gone With the Wind." |
