YOU MIGHT BE A DEMOCRAT IF...
* You feel Fidelity means not cheating on your mistress.
* You think that pornography corrupts women, but find nothing wrong with a 50 year old president seducing a 21 year old intern.
* You cry every May 4th over the four people killed at Kent State, but have never been to the Vietnam Memorial.
* You want to know why we don't offer schooling in prisons (hey, isn't that what public schools are for).
* You think those stupid ribbons actually accomplish something.
* You think a mother has a right to kill an innocent 5 month fetus because her pregnancy would interfere with her career, but feel we shouldn't put to death the man who raped and murdered 14 women.
* You feel that banning smoking in public indoor places limits your constitutional rights.
* You feel that being convicted of treason is an infringement on your first amendment rights.
* You honestly feel that alcoholics deserve social security disability benefits.
* You outwardly said "I would have voted for Elizabeth Dole" knowing darn well you wouldn't have because she is a Republican.
* You think it is ok for a President to commit perjury on his sex life, but criticize Dan Quayle for spelling potato/potatoe wrong.
* You stood on a soapbox demanding that Anita Hill be heard, but want Paula Jones' accusations to be swept under the rug.
* You've filed for unemployment within two weeks of getting out of high school.
* You went to Woodstock II and felt that it was a significant historical event, changing the way our country thinks.
* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President," and still display it.
* You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on, "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so..."
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
* You've ever argued that with just one more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.
* You think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator.
* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does. |
