I saw that.
Sad and pathetic
not funny at all.
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Rodney Dangerfield Jokes
-I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
-I tell you, I’m not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!
-What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
-Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
-When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.
-I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
-What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!
-I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.
-My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-I’ll tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
-My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.
-I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
-My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
-My mother never breastfed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
-I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
-One year they wanted to make me poster boy... for birth control.
-I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
-When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
-I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
-One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
-I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
-My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
-Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
-A hooker once told me she had a headache.
-If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.
-I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
-I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard!
-I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, What’ll you have? I said, Surprise me. He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
-My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
-I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.
-And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn’t born a boy, I’d have nothing to play with! |
