[X] Some Things Hyper-Preterism Cannot Make Sense Of:
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"(1) Pain in childbirth. Genesis tells us that the increased pain in childbirth is due to the curse. Thus, Hyper-Preterists have secretly been behind the latest terrorist attacks on medical facilities, trying to deplete the supply of epidurals! This embarrassing fact causes people to laugh at HPs. HPs think it is a conspiracy by the Christian right. They seriously believe that women do not feel pain in child birth. So, let this be a warning to all you women who might marry a HP, i.e., you're delivery will not be a fun experience with your husband telling you to stop acting like there are curses not abolished by the redeemer!
(2) Conveniently, making sure you don't teach heresy is something done away with! Why? James 3:1 tells us that, “Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." But the judgment has already taken place! So, it's open season on teaching any distorted teaching that you wish. What basis is there to make sure you're a wise teacher, sound in doctrine?
(3) Someone can become a Christian and on the same day they can become and elder! Paul tells Timothy that and elder "must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil." But the judgment already happened and the devil is done away with. So, the reason for not having an elder be a recent convert is done away with. I guess we can say that the age of old elders was fulfilled in 70 AD.
(4) HPism allows elders to hit unbelievers over the head with baseball bats. Doubt me? Paul says that and elder "must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap." But there is no devil and no devil's trap. You see, the conclusion of having a good reputation with unbelievers is that the elder will not fall into the devil's trap. There are no more devil's traps, and so nothing to worry about, elders may now swing away with baseball bats at the heads of unbelievers.
(5) Women wear the pants in the HP family! What! Well, part of the curse in Genesis is that the husband "will rule over" the women. Since the curse is done away with then we'll have no more of this "submitting" business.
(6) News flash! HPs have flocked to nudist colonies. Why? Well, because of sin Adam and Eve had to cover their nakedness. Now that that has been done away with the HPs may remove their leaves and run around in the buff!
[Y] Hyper-Preterism, election, heaven and hell?: Many HPs consider themselves to be reformed soteriologically. That entails believing that God has ordained a particular number of people to everlasting life. The number is set, no more no less. So, it may be, 100,000 million, for all we know. The problem is that HPism teaches that the earth will remain forever and there will be people entering into the New Covenant for the "rest" of time. If so, there is not a specific number elected to eternal life but an infinite number.
Also, there will be an infinite amount of people in heaven and outside the city. Since the earth goes on forever, and people will forever be put into one of those places, then both places will have the same amount of people! This is like "Hotel Infinity:"
The Hotel Infinity is never full because it has infinitely many rooms. There is always room for any number of new guests. I think they use alternate dimensions in some way. One day, the Infinite Convention came to town, and they fit nicely into the Hotel Infinity, even though there were already guests staying there. Assume that there were already 100 guests, then the Infinite Convention moved into rooms 101, 102, 103, etc. No problem. Then one more person moved in. Again, no big problem, the management just asked the Infinite Convention to move into the next highest room (101 to 102, 102 to 103, etc.), and the new guest moved into the vacated room 101. Then Another Infinite Convention came to town. Was there room for them at the Hotel Infinity? Certainly. The management asked every guest to double their room number and move into that room (1 to 2, 2 to 4, 3 to 6, etc). That freed up infinitely many rooms for the Another Infinite Convention, who moved into the odd numbered rooms. I recommend the Hotel Infinity. I was able to stay there even though two conventions were in town simultaneously.
So, whichever persuasion you are, i.e., more people in hell than heaven, more people in heaven than hell, HPism says that both sides are wrong and there is actually an equal number at both places (however "both places" are defined, so as not to beg any questions)." |
