One who keeps on saying “Why me?
Rehan Latif
It’s a strange time being a Pakistani in London nowadays. Immediately the reaction of disbelief is followed by the feeling of how easily you could have been the target, if you had just been 20 minutes earlier or if you had decided on an different route to work that day. The week after, indeed even months later, you get into the tube, but only with suspicion and sometimes just a touch of paranoia. However at the same time, you begin to realize, that in spite of the fact that you are indeed as much of a target by those naïve (at best) Asian British boys, you are similarly viewed as a potential hazard by many of your fellow co-passengers on the tube. They eye you warily
I have always loved London, no other city can ever encapsulate the thriving cosmopolitan melting pot that it can now rightfully claim to be (New York eat your heart out). In spite of a year of hard knocks, with the 07/07 bombs and the virulent protests following the Swedish cartoon incident, you never feel that you are targeted for the color of your skin, by the police, law enforcement, rather they let be, unlike so many other European capitals. Yet I must admit it does confound me at times, why have British Pakistani youngsters lost the plot so openly. You hear it all; you hear about the “clash of civilization”, the fact that the second generation was lost
and confused and turned to extreme religion to combat both their insecurities with regards to who they were and because they could not combine their role as British citizens with their family link to Pakistan. We are viewed as the second least successful ethnic group in the UK, lagging behind Indians, Chinese. Can we blame religion?
These are questions that do confound me sometimes. What is it all about? Is it really a question of the fact that this country really has not provided them any opportunities or are they just caught up in the process of self victimization. This hit me again all of a sudden, a week or two ago. I am one of those who did well. Following an education, partly in Pakistan and then completed in the US and UK, I am an Investment Banker in one of those major US white shoe institutions. I fit in well with my desi friends, can share a curry in East End, or just as comfortable, in one of those trendy little night clubs, with my banking buddies on a Friday night. But maybe I was lucky, in that I had the backing to be successful and more opportunities by being brought up by a Pakistani family with liberated views, rather than a suffocated 2nd generation British Asian family set up. As part of my extended duties as a banker, it is to ensure that I spread the gospel about how great the industry is. It’s all about the image, we go around different
University events, talk to students, they come over to our institution, impress them with our staid buildings, lay out the drinks and our good looking analysts, associates, hand out the flashy business cards, promise the salaries and watch their CVs roll in.. But then we are Samaritans, we do the same for Ethnic programs as well and recently I went to another forum held in a bank, for what was know as equal opportunities for disabled students. To be frank I had little idea what to expect. I was a little unsure as to what I had got myself into and a little worried about how
I would react in certain scenarios. Yet in another sense I was intrigued. Banking is a tough career choice, no mistake about it, it is stressful, takes a toll on your health, how would someone with any form of disability be able to cope in that sort of environment? I had forgotten that in the West, a little determination goes a long way. I was seated next to a person suffering from cerebral palsy, I turned round to ask him which university he was at, only to realise he was a fellow banker, indeed a trader, an alpha banker if you will, one who risks the banks capital on a day to day business in the murky world of finance. Across the floor, you saw these guys, some in wheel chairs, some deaf, some blind, but all committed to a very clear career in Banking. It is these things that impress me so much about
Europe and Americas, opportunities are clear and you know there is always a chance, just get off your ass and look for them. This for me was not the end of the evening. The key note speaker was one Amar Latif. Intrigued by the name, it proved to be an inspiring and thought provoking speech to listen to.
It left me with questions and perhaps some answers. Amar is a Scottish Asian, actually as he pointed out early in his speech; I am from the clan of the Mc Latifs, a proud and ancient tribe that range from the Highlands to Lahore and Islamabad! It brought the house down. Amar is actually blind. He inherited a condition, where his sight would deteriorate over time to a stage where he would no longer be able to see. By 16, his parents had sold his bike, since he was crashing into lamp posts and the like. It’s a tough age I think to realize that you are not like most of your friends, to lose your sight, to become dependent. Amar talked about that, about the fact
that he sunk into depression for a while, but picked himself up to go to University, where he spent a year in Canada. A year which changed him, brought him to contact with life long friends, made him realize that as a blind person, even he could achieve something regardless of the obstacles. I am not going to bore you with he has done. But he became head of a team of accountants in a finance firm, he set up a travel company, he was an actor, he became a blues singer, he traversed across the entire jungles of Nicaragua on foot. He did all that and now on this day, he was motivating a whole group of disable students to follow their dreams and not let their disabilities stand in the way. He inspired them to think big, to dream big and to remember they could do anything they want as long as they wanted to. He humbled us bankers, the arrogant ones, with his set of achievements, he was senior to us all, yet at the same time, he was so much more multi dimensional as a personality, a singer and an actor and a well seasoned traveler! This could have been any other story. But this was one story. The story that impressed me more was another. Here was a British Pakistan Muslim, who stood up, who despite even greater setbacks than most people could imagine, had succeeded. We as a community are caught in our drab little self victimization roles, we blame the West, we blame their culture for confusing our poor youths. But Amar said something that made sense not just to those in the room but to people in general. He said there are two types of people with disabilities. One who keeps on saying “Why me? Why did this ever happen to me.” They are caught in a dark area, they never leave that hole of disenchantment and depression. Don’t become them he warned. Then the other set which wants to prove that in spite of everything, they can still achieve and still be successful, through determination and grit.
I loved it. Oh how our Asian boys could learn from that. Our Asian boys are stuck as a whole in that mentality, where in spite of everything, they tend to find reasons for their failures, they blame the system for letting them down. |
