Worried About GW's Poll Numbers?
by John W Lillpop
Thinking of Becoming a Liberal?
With George Bush’s approval ratings in crash-landing mode, distraught conservatives are anxiously searching for answers.
The options? Move to Australia or commit suicide. Some really desperate folks are even thinking of becoming liberals!
To those undecided between suicide and becoming a liberal, please consider the inconsistency and irrational thinking needed to embrace the liberal agenda:
Rising gasoline prices are devastating to working Americans, but protecting obscure organisms at the bottom of the food chain is of greater concern. Which is why drilling for oil & adding refining capacity are unacceptable.
Large profits are obscenely un-American, except when it comes to George Soros, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey and other liberals.
Illegal aliens deserve driver’s licenses to avoid breaking the law by driving illegally.
The earning power of the average American worker is in serious decline; even so, America should grant amnesty to 20,000,000 illegal aliens who will work for lower wages and no benefits.
Killing the sale of port security to UAE was necessary to protect home land security, but closing the borders with Mexico would unfairly “scapegoat” Hispanics.
Bilingualism is essential in a tolerant, diverse society, except when it comes to Hispanics who are perfectly justified in refusing to learn English.
Conservatives who work to preserve American culture and tradition are hate mongers. But immigrants from other nations must be allowed to retain their ‘cultural identity’ at all costs.
Execution of a convicted killer is cruel, unusual & barbaric; whereas a woman’s right to abort the life of an innocent child is inalienable.
Starving an innocent, helpless victim like Terri Schaivo to death is fine, whereas using lethal injection to end the life of a brutal killer is not OK.
Invading a foreign nation is wrong, except when illegal immigrants from Mexico invade America.
Discrimination based on race or gender is wrong. Except when waged against Caucasian men, in which case it is mandated by law & called Affirmative Action.
Masculinity & all things male are the source of all evil, whereas feminism is liberating & spiritual in nature. Jesus was probably female, truth be known!
Freedom of speech must never be repressed, except when “hurtful” to any constituency of the Democrat party.
Tax cuts are wrong if it means returning money to the people who actually paid taxes, but perfectly fine when sent to those who paid no taxes.
Christmas, the Holy Bible & other symbols of Christianity must be quashed so as to offend no one; whereas, Ramadan, the Koran & symbols of Islam must be heavily promoted in the name of religious awareness & tolerance.
Businesses are oppressive, fascist institutions that must not be allowed to grow too large, while big government, when run by Democrats, creates wealth & happiness & must be expanded.
Military force must never be used, except when absolutely needed to advance interests not vital to the US, or to obscure a Democrat president’s sexual misconduct in the Oval Office.
The big question: Are you mindless enough to be a liberal? Or do wish to borrow my handgun?
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