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Politics : GOPwinger Lies/Distortions/Omissions/Perversions of Truth
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To: JakeStraw who wrote (70199)6/23/2006 10:39:43 AM
From: puborectalis  Read Replies (1) of 173976
 
Fresh from the laboratory:
> The New Element
>
> The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of
> a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently
> announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
>
> The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium (Gv) has
> one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198
> assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
>
> These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
> surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
>
> Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
> detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
> contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
> would normally take less than a second to take over four days to
> complete.
>
> Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay, but
> instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
> neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's
> Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will
> cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
>
> This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
> that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
> concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
> morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium
> - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since
> it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.
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