To All:
I wanted to do exhaustive research into the question of whether Condi Rice and George W. had a affair as is being alleged. So I spent another $5 and got another tape. Included on this one is Lisa, an unknown White House staffer.
Condi--Lisa have you seen the President around? I can't seem to locate him.
Lisa--No, I haven't. I have been looking for him too. I was just in the Oval Office. I left some papers there for him to sign. You know how he likes them arranged so he doesn't have to read them, just with the places to sign right where he can sign and forget about them.
Oh..And by the way, I got that prescription you wanted. I left it in his desk. He might just rediscover his Presidential timber now.
Condi--I hope so, I swear the only wood that man has right now is in his head.
Lisa--I hope this works, I just got the one bottle. You probably heard Rush was caught bringing the second one over the border. Oh, there is the President now.
W--Afternoon Ladies.
Condi--Hello George.
Lisa--Good afternoon Mr. President. Mr. President could I have a few minutes of your time? Your press secretary asked me to get a statement from you.
W--What is it about?
Lisa--The information has come out that 50,000 Iraqis have died since the war began. The press has been asking how you feel about this.
W--I have a few minutes, you have paper and pencil?
Lisa--Yes Sir, I am ready.
W--Well, you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. We have broken 2,500 American eggs so far. I am sorry about that but I don't think any true American gives a damn about 50,000 dead ragheads. They fought us and got killed for trying. In fact that kind of kill ratio shows whose side God is on. Clearly God wants the lovers of Jesus to triumph in this sacred conflict. Just as clearly we are fighting a great evil. This shows beyond all doubt that Allah is just another name for Satan. We just have to stay the course because God is on our side. Sooner or later if we keep killing enough of these devil worshippers they will see their error and turn to God and Jesus. Then we will see Iraq turn into a democratic, Christian bastion against the rest of these godless Satan lovers.
Condi--Sweet Jesus!
W--Exactly!
Lisa--I will uh....I will have your speech writers polish it up a bit before your statement is released.
W--Good idea. I have got to go now. I have a meeting with the Halliburton and Exxon CEOs. It is going to be a rough one. They are upset that the gas prices have gone down a few cents in the past few weeks.
[A few hours later]
Condi--Lisa, there you are. Have you seen the President?
Lisa--He is still in the Oval Office, he is still meeting with the two CEOs.
Condi--It has been three hours, that is just impossible...Oh No! Poor George! They must have found the Viagra. |
