>
> He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>
>
> Remember, half the people you know are below average.
>
>
> On the other hand, you have different fingers.
>
>
> 42.7 percent of statistics are made up on the spot.
>
>
> 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
>
>
> Clones are people two.
>
>
> Honk if you love peace and quiet.
>
>
> Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
>
>
> The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese.
>
>
> Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people
have.
>
> Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
>
>
> A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
>
>
> Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
>
> Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
>
>
> Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
>
>
> If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of
payments.
>
> How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand
...
> OK, so what's the speed of dark?
>
> If everything seems to be going well, you have
obviously overlooked something.
>
>
> When everything is coming your way, you're in the
wrong lane.
>
>
> Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off
now.
>
> If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be
vague.
>
> Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it
didn't zig-zag?
> Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet
engines.
> I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn
louder.
>
> Inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what the hell happened.
>
>
>
> |
