Fairy Tale: gem-x vs. the devil at Cornerstone Cafe, College Park, MD.
Fairy tale: gem-x vs. the devil at Cornerstone Cafe UMCP
Body: One night, gem-x decided that he wanted to confront
the paganist greek maniacs who have been "with their secret handshake" trying to for years pick apart his life and even attempt murder several times. Knowing the immense powers of nirvana he attained when the alien rocket ship landed and took over his body after realizing the truth in 1997, he knew where the devil hides and decided to confront him at the bar formerly known as "the Vous", now renamed, "Cornerstone Cafe."
The Tri-Delts and Phi Delts had many a one night stand, making deals with the devil in order to further their paganisitic rituals. So Mr. gem-x, with the new testamant in hand, the star of david in both ears, and his trusty crucifix tied on his neck with dental floss, walked to the front of the bar with a big bottle of holy water.
The ugly fat bitch at the door told him "you cannot bring that bottle of water into the bar." gem-x replied "why not.. because there are VAMPIRES in there?!". Moments later the white trash frat boys all turned around and looked at gem-x with wide eyes of fear, and saw a man in a striped shirt run like hell to the top floor. Walking through the door, gem-x held his bottle of holy water, and the fat bitch at the door grabbed him violently warning him not to enter the bar with the bottle of water. gem-x got into a minor tussle with her after she grabbed it and threw it in the trash can. "so what, I'll be back for it" gem-x replied.
gem-x sat at the bar and noticed stickers on the door. The compass of the freemasons, and on the bar table, a circle with a bat inside of, color of red. Obvious pagan and satan symbols. gem-x called out to the devil. But the pussy wouldn't arrive. So he bought a bottle of Michelob Ultra, and chilled. The persian frat boys saw gem-x and their eyes widened. One of them hurried down the stairs...
And than gem-x followed him..and lo and behold, the coward himself was sitting directly in front of him. Poor guy. he was trembling violently like he saw a ghost. couldn't look at gem-x straight in the eyes. so gem-x sat right in front him and said "Devil, I'm sick of your shit, and I'm sick of you building this kingdom under your image. Here's the deal. You hand over the network, and I won't destroy the empire..that painfully. It'll be quick and painless. All i ask is that you graciously accept your deportation to hell, and not battle with me." Devil kept trembling and couldn't utter a word. The fear was incredibly he thick. He knew gem-x had his number.
So gem-x went to the trash can, got the holy water out, and covered the front door with the water. The devil couldn't leave. Meanwhile the frat boys started acting very strange..the devil sat there trembling. And like Clint Eastwood, he walked out the door with a stiff swagger.
gem-x knew his deed wasn't done yet. He drove over the the house of the Tri Delts..poured the rest of the holy water on the front porch. They had "Beware" sign at the front door. But gem-x knew. The bitch is done.
The End. |
