By Command of the Leaf & Weed Harvest Czarina...
ORDER OF OPERATIONS
first, a machine will be invented to transform brushy and leafy rakings into biofuel which could heat homes and run automobiles. these machines could be placed in neighborhoods in the manner of Grange Community Silos - the homefolks deposit their leaves into the weighing container and are then issued a card entitling them to access whatever amount of biofuel they've earned by the weight. If The People wish to rake their leaves to the street instead of bringing them in, the municipality is entitled to use the resultant fuel which saves the taxpayer's money. Some of this fuel could be donated to the needy of the town.
second, encourage youth and community service groups and work programs to rake and leafblow the public and private wooded lands adjacent to highways and residential neighborhoods. This would cut down on fire hazard, freshen and beautify the woods, and remove rotting underbrush as a habitat for vermin. The resulting biofuel credits would be used: 33% to the organization of the volunteers ... 33% to The Czarina who would purchase more of the needed equipment and also buy wildflower seeds, ferns, plants, and grass seed to further beautify these woods ... and 33% to the municipality providing the supervision of these groups which would be used for insurance purposes and fuel for the landscaping equipment for this project
third: as the project expands and the money grows, the project will beautify Our Parks and Forests. Vehicle trails are made, and paid workers, firefighters, etc. as well as volunteers wishing biofuel/money for their organizations or themselves are now employed to freshen the underbrush along the trails and campgrounds of the parks (first) and then, into the back country. The Primeval Forest - now of a mungy buggy floor that has never been cleared Never Ever Before - will now be freshened and unencouraging to the vermin who at present lie fulminating under the leaves. All fallen logs will be left alone, and there will still be plenty of leaf areas to provide food for the native forest species. The benefit to American Wildlife from this project will be astounding. Beautiful and rare Native plants such as those which feed birds and critters and encourage butterflies will be divided and grown from slips; then placed back in areas where they already are thriving, once it is seen what will grow without being blocked by centuries of rotting jungly underbrush. To have woods adjacent to highways cleared yearly, and Parks Dept. hiking trails cleared yearly, and back-area forests cleared (going by the square) every 3-7 years, is the goal. 1/3 of the money from this giant project (on the scale of the WPA) goes to the organizations of volunteers, or to pay the paid workers or fund the programs from whence they come. 1/3 of the money goes to The Leaf & Weed Harvest Czarina, who buys the necessary equipment and provides food and music and tents and proper clothing for The Great Outdoors on a grand scale to thank the workers. and assure their enjoyment and comfort IN THE GREAT AMERICAN COUNTRY-STYLE TRADITION! 1/3 of the money goes to The Parks Department and to research and monitor the (expected positive) effect on the denizens of the habitats. Test areas, of course, will be always left alone.
Publicity must be given out that this is NOT a prelude to logging or development clearing of The National Treasure.
Publicity must be given out that -
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY - along with the call for Volunteers.
The Leaf & Weed Harvest Czarina is fully confident that The American People will rise to the occasion. Especially when they see the food and music that will be provided at the parties. And when they see how their fuel bills have gone down. And when they hear of the charities supported by the volunteers of the project. And BEST OF ALL is when they see how beautiful the woods look, and how great they smell, (as in Switzerland and Germany!) and how the bugbites and fungus in the woods is lessened, and how the butterflies and owls and the weasels and the lovely creatures have returned so happy once the rain and snow can touch the ground again, in America. And that these creatures will come closer to us now because they know we're starting to help and not hurt them anymore. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to surmise that 100 years of industrial pollution have taken up residence in 100 years of leafy munge, does it? No, it doesn't.
fourth; not all leaves will be converted to biofuel. Part of The Harvest will be shipped (using its own biofuel) to replenish soils devastated by overfarming, drought, pollution, mining, and inherent poorness here in America. And shipped overseas to restore soils devastated by wars, where it's possible to restore them yet.
fifth: regarding pine forests - the needles will be turned and freshened, and only some will be harvested at first, in small test areas - pending monitoring on the advisability of such.
The Leaf & Weed Harvest Czarina postulates this as a probable Win/Win Situation from the looks of it at this time. Economic benefits all around, and a boost for Business. Another interesting subgroup of tickers would soon be displayed on
The Big Board from this project, alritey. mwwoooohahaha
@JT |
