This Week on Late Night TV
"Today is the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Not only that, it's the six-month anniversary of when President Bush found out about it." --Conan O'Brien
"Tuesday will mark the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina -- the storm that nearly destroyed New Orleans. The White House's response to Katrina can best be filed under job comma 'heckuva.'" --Jon Stewart
"NBC anchor Brian Williams interviewed President Bush. He asked him about his poll numbers and President Bush said, 'The key for me is to keep expectations low.' I think you can accurately say, 'Mission Accomplished.'" --Jay Leno
"CNN, to mark the fifth anniversary of 9/11, is going to be re-playing their original coverage of that day. Let's just hope that President Bush doesn't tune in and go, 'Oh my God, they've done it again!'." --Bill Maher
"For years people have criticized the Bush administration for intelligence failures -- specifically, the president's failure to be intelligent. So, you can imagine my dismay when I read in U.S. World News & Report that a top insider said the president 'can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a few for laughs.' The press is having a field day, but may I remind everyone that the previous president used an intern as a humidor, not as a joke." --Stephen Colbert
"The one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina hitting New Orleans was marked by President Bush with a moment of silence. A little different than a year ago, when President Bush marked the occasion by a week and a half of silence." --Jay Leno
"It's the one-year anniversary of the Hurricane Katrina disaster. President Bush was in New Orleans today speaking about the recovery effort. The president has been the subject of much criticism when it comes to how the government handled Katrina. But his message today was not of the past, it was one of the future for New Orleans [on screen: Bush saying, 'Are your ready for some football?']." --Jimmy Kimmel
"A panel of scientists voted to kick Pluto out of the solar system. They tried to explain the science of this to President Bush, but then they got fed up and just told him it got destroyed by the Death Star." --Bill Maher
"President Bush said the United States is still under the threat of attack and will continue to be right up until Election Day." --Jay Leno |
