Sounds good to me, but out of fairness, we should provide equal time and supply 10 reasons NOT to buy OVIS. We don't want to biased, because having a pro-OVIS stance is apparently something we can be sued for. Reasons to NOT buy OVIS:
1. Losing millions of dollars is very upsetting to naked shorters. We should be more sensitive to their needs.
2. Making money is the wrong thing to do. We should be feel very, very guilty for making money, especially from holding a long position on a security.
3. More profits means more taxes. It's better to not make any money, than to have to fork over a percentage of it.
4. Think about the trees. Now that the TA has run out of paper, more cert orders means that more trees will die (and we know that recycling paper, and the planting of new trees is nonsense and never happens).
5. Efforts to stop naked short selling - well, it's just un-American! We'd be helping to kill a thriving, multi-billion dollar industry.
6. Brokers get annoyed by cert requests. They're so hard at work making our lives better, why should we bother them with such things?
7. "Naysayer" has a nice ring to it.
8. Clothing, they make clothing. Who needs clothing? BORRRRRIINNGG. Tech stocks are the way to go (editor's note: I'm currently wearing a lovely outfit constructed of multilayer printed circuit boards, IOMega Zip disks, and sewn together using digital audio tape).
9. Location, location, location. I've been to Ft. Lauderdale, and all I saw while I was there were a bunch of people having fun, beautiful women strolling along the beach, etc. How on earth can anyone get any work done down there? They should relocate to Idaho, then I'd take them seriously.
10. We should invest in Microsoft instead. They're already so big, resistance is futile. Soon, we will all be Microsoft slaves, anyway. Why not invest in your future? |
