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Gary,
Since most of the laywer jokes are "nasty", I thought I would place these comments and you find them funny and not insulting:
Lawyers typically aren't funny -- unless by accident.
Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were
taken from
official US court records nationwide..."
Was that the same nose you
broke as a child?
Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep,
in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know
anything
about it until the next morning?
Q: What happened then?
A:
He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can
identify me.'
Q: Did he kill you?
Was it you or your brother that was killed in the
war?
The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
Were you alone
or by yourself.
How long have you been a French Canadian?
Do you have
any children or anything of that kind?
Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask
you if you recognize that picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when
that picture was taken?
Were you present in court this morning when you
were sworn in?
Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage
terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q:
Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on
November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A:
Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?
Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe
you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you
committed suicide?
So you were gone until you returned?
Q: She had
three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q:
Were there girls?
You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it
looked like,
but can you describe it?
Q: You say that the stairs went
down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up
also?
Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.
A
Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a
stupid
question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd
like to strike the
next question."
Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined
the body
of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening.
The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the
time, is that correct?
A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table
wondering why I was
doing an autopsy!
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