Kerry Humbled to Be Named Time’s ‘Person of the Year’
Satire from ScrappleFace
By Scott Ott on Media/Journalism
(2006-12-17) — Sen. John Kerry, D-MA, today announced he is “humbled and grateful” to be named Time Magazine’s ‘Person of the Year‘ for 2006.
“When I picked up my copy of Time at the newsstand,” said Sen. Kerry, “and saw my own image looking back at me, I thought ‘Of all the great people in the world this year — Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, Kofi Annan, Kim Jong-Il — how can it be you, John?’”
The presumptive runner-up for the Democrat presidential nomination in 2008 said he had not yet read the Time cover story because “modesty restrains me.”
“And yet,” Sen. Kerry added, “in a way, my whole life has been moving toward this moment when the people of this nation and their leaders would say, ‘You’re the one, John’. There’s a sense of destiny, and you can’t fight that.”
In related news, spokesmen for Sen. Hillary Clinton and former Sen. John Edwards said both would appear at separate news conferences later today to reflect on their feelings after being named Time magazine’s ‘Person of the Year’ for 2006.
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