It is a recorded fact however, that no Scot has ever been gainfully employed.
Recently at the University of Edinburgh (Grades 1 thru 3 are represented at this institution) a great breakthrough in artificial intelligence was made. The first Scot every to stop drinking whiskey before breakfast, (Brianne McTavish) actually managed to tie his shoelaces without hitching one shoe to the other. A national holiday was declared. The Prime Minister of Scotland, Scotty McTavish, who is also the garbageman in his village, was recently was released on day parole and had this to say about this phenomenal Gaelic demonstration of overachievement. "I dinna believe it. Anyone knows that tieing shoelaces has not been solved by man yet. It's a an English trick to make us start paying taxes."
The only thing that Scots make is trouble. There are no famous Scot artists, musicians, philosophers, mathematicians, engineers, lawyers, doctors, physicists, millionaires, writers, or even boot-makers. It's hopeless. The only thing you can do with a Scot is give him a bottle of Whiskey, a hoe, and enough time to kill himself with either.
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