Tennessee Women, GRIT, & Kittens
Someone once noted that a Tennesseean can get away with the most awful kind
of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her
he art " or "Bless his he art ." As in, "Bless his he art , if they put his
brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane
highway."
I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling
about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her
toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Tennessee accent. My
friend, who is very kind and, bless her he art , cannot do a thing about
those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all,
this woman had CHOSEN to move to Tennessee a couple of years ago.
"Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be
"taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."
Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the
North, bless their he art s. I welcome their perspective, their
friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food.
I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find
good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their he art s, don't like
cornbread!
I have a friend from Bawston, bless her he art , who thinks it's
hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or
"cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to
do something. And, bless their he art s, they don't even know where
"over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!
My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her he art , she cain't
help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home."
Tennessee girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.
Tennessee girls always say:
1. "Yes Maam."
2. "Yessir."
Tennessee girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Yawl come back."
2. "Well, bless yer harrt."
3. "Drop by when ya can."
4. "How's yer mama?"
5. "Love yer hair."
Tennessee girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest
Tennessee girls know everybody's first name:
1. Hunny
2. Darlin'
3. Shuger
Tennessee girls know the movies that speak to their he art s:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"
Tennessee girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates
G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in Tennessee !
(or G.R.I.T.S …Girls Raised in the South!)
Now you run along, Shuger, and send this to ANY females aspiring to be
GRITS--Even the northern ones, "Bless Their He art s".
"Just because you move to Tennessee does not make you a Tennesseean. After
all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't
make them biscuits." |
