HINES: Having faith in apathy
Issue date: 1/29/07 Section: Opinion
Looking back at the student movements of the '60s and '70s, I realize how unfortunate it was that so many felt compelled to save their lives from an unjust war. Sure these movements were admirable, but think of all the time and energy involved.
Now I'm not an economist, but I do enjoy balancing my checkbook on occasion. More importantly, I've learned about something called "opportunity cost" here at Boston University. My time is valuable.
It is precisely for that reason that I don't waste a couple hours volunteering or participating in extracurricular activities. Instead I prefer to watch "Real World" marathons. I like to pretend the roommates are my friends. I cry when they all have to leave.
I think the best part about TV is that it will never ask me a question. Honestly, who enjoys engaging in conversation anyway? Human interaction is declining with the advent of instant messaging, email, Bluetooth, what-have-you and can-I-borrow-it. I say bring it on while I watch "Bring It On" OnDemand. And occasionally, I'll text a friend who wants to know why I'm watching "Bring it On" by myself. I text back: Reaction is much easier than interaction.
And it's more fun. Apathy is much more fun. Have you ever seen a blonde care? Now you know why. Those student movements could never fly in modern times because apathy rules fo' sho'.
It's even fun to say: "I don't care."
For example, when I learned about massive pro-life rallies that filled entire city stadiums around the United States, I thought, "Who cares?" Brushing off salient political issues feels great. Not only are you "above" the baby battle, but you just gave that fetus a formidable kick in the stomach.
Radical Islam wants the United States dead, "Who cares?" Not only should we pull out of Iraq, but we should engage with Syria and Iran in order to implicate other Middle Eastern nations. Never mind the anti-Western sentiment that brews there or what fuels it. In the meantime, I'm going to check out Saddam's execution on YouTube.com.
And when it comes to engaging in politics, in casting my vote, me and about 60 percent of America have one thing to say, "I don't care." But what is it that makes apathy pulse through America like an electric current?
For one, catastrophic events are much more spectacular in an apathetic society. Isn't that word beautiful: "spectacular?" By not watching the news or understanding what our soldiers are dying for, natural and unnatural disasters come out of the blue. Americans can comfortably say, "We didn't even see it coming."
Apathy is great because decisions are much easier to make when nuclear warfare hangs over your head. Groupthink, the modern American decision maker, can only operate if we refuse to be vigilant observers of international and national conflict and circumstance. Being vigilant isn't my job; I don't get paid for it - but I'd like to.
When "it" goes down, the apathetic masses feel less accountable (not to mention more helpless). Oops, just mentioned that helpless feeling.
Well, even if apathy isn't great at popular mobilization, at least it feeds popular culture, or what I'll call the art of apathy. This great American machine has introduced such notable albums as Hanson's "Middle of Nowhere" and Alanis Morisette's "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie" to Western and Eastern cultures alike.
If cold American force hasn't convinced foreigners of our rich culture, it's good to know MTV, Kylie Minogue and American blockbusters are portraying our essential Western values.
As for those Islamists in the Middle East who are all up-in-arms about "religion," who do they think they are raising questions about the fundamental values that connect all people? (Steering away from satire, I cannot support the method of Quranic interpretation to advocate secular violence in the religious garb of Islam.) That said, apathy is the new religion.
This way, people can pray for peace, global well-being, etc. from the comfort of their homes without raising a finger or objecting to its cause; never mind committing yourself to a life of social service or being a teacher.
The question is why would politicians work to create social-service jobs when they fit in so well with corporate executives? A good apathizer would know not to question what kind of policies could make politicians more like normal people. (I'll reduce some of the information cost: campaign finance reform.)
Now, after so much apathy-praising, you'd think I really cared about something. But believe me when I tell you I rarely give a fleeting thought to the future. I could care less that my children might live in a world where Miami resembles Atlantis, where power shifts do not match political shifts because national pride supersedes global reality, where political apathy is the cause of national ruin.
And more importantly, I refuse to be critical of politics-as-usual. They got us this far, didn't they? Know what, I do not even care to answer that question because I probably already know the answer. Amen apathy.
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