Oh my, the son-of-god knocked up a hoe!
Feb. 25 /PRNewswire/ -- New scientific evidence, including DNA analysis conducted at one of the world's foremost molecular genetics laboratories, as well as studies by leading scholars, suggests a 2,000-year-old Jerusalem tomb could have once held the remains of Jesus of Nazareth and his family. The findings also suggest that Jesus and Mary Magdalene might have produced a son named Judah.
While I’m sure that all of god’s chosen preachers that have recently been ‘caught in the act’ would like to cite these findings in their defense, we need to consider the following:
-There is no evidence that our lord-n-savior ever paid the bitch even one widow’s mite. (She may have even tithed 10% of the prophets from all the other Johns… not just the John that wrote that weird book at the end of the bible)
-There is no evidence that they had oral sex (which is not really sex, but that’s another story). Oh, he did have this thing about telling people to eat his flesh often… And he had that bit about ‘doing unto others as they do unto you.’ Humm, unless someone else mentions it, can we pretend like I never mentioned this?
-If some ‘activity’ occurred, it may be simply the result of them sharing an innocent pitcher of water that was miraculously changed into wine… and well, ‘it felt right at the time.’ ;-) ( Teddy note, if you wake up with a girl and you can't remember her name, "Mary" is usually a good first guess)
Anyway, I propose that we keep our faith in tact by visualizing that he just gave her a Smiley Intervention Coffee Mug filled with the mysterious exo-plasmatic substance that god used to impregnate the Virgin Mary.
dsc.discovery.com
So wot's the deal with god's DNA? I might have been out sick the day the covered that in class? |
