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Pastimes : Where the GIT's are going

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To: KLP who wrote (136741)	3/7/2007 1:10:37 AM
From: Augustus Gloop	Read Replies (4) of 225578

I can't help it....I must share this with my friends. This is like WELCOME TO A DAY IN THE LIFE OF GLOOP. Today I was out working which basically means I was out charging clients outrageous fees and commission while placing them in investments that benefit only my bank account - surely they're going to lose money - and I'm actually considered ethical in my field. Anyhow - I roll up to my next victim of the day and get out of my car. Before I go on I have to explain something - I have a growth on the side on my hand. Most people call theirs a pinky but this hideous appendage has been jammed, dislocated and broken about 25 times. Things like these can usually only be found on residents of West Virginia. Anyhow - its like 20 degrees outside and I proceed to close my door AND slam this grotesque growth in the door of my car. This produced the most vile reaction of expletives I could think of - in fact I think I created some new ones. Not only that but they were strung together in a way that actually created a coherent sentence. After this verbal display I was able to pry my dog bone from the door of the car and compose myself to go in and pilfer my client. Now keep in mind - its 20 degrees out - right? Well - I turn around and walk towards the door only to see my client waiting for me with an open door. All this after I exhibited linguistic skills only heard at Stuckys truck stop. But THAT JUST ISN'T BAD ENOUGH! I proceed to the mans door in my suit and wingtips. He apparently just thought I had used every word in the book for no reason. Because as I walked to his door with my wounded right paw he stuck his hand out and shook my hand with the force of a silverback gorilla. The initial pain just wasn't enough - now the pain is at levels that only narcotics can fix. It gets better - I make it through the appointment and he decides to buy which means I now need to fill out about 15 pages of paperwork with this dangling participle hanging off my hand. If there was ever a time I wanted to fail to close a deal - this was it! Welcome to my world

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