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Politics : Just the Facts, Ma'am: A Compendium of Liberal Fiction

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To: Mr. Palau who wrote (55645)3/8/2007 11:58:59 AM
From: Sully-  Read Replies (1) of 90947
 
‘Long National Nightmare’ Over, Bush Pardons Wilson

Satire from ScrappleFace
By Scott Ott on U.S. News

(2007-03-07) — President George Bush put an end to rampant speculation among journalists and pundits today, by pardoning the man at the center of the CIA leak investigation — former ambassador Joseph Wilson.

Mr. Wilson, who falsely claimed to have debunked evidence that Iraq sought uranium from Niger, then lied about who sent him to Niger and about the covert status of his wife, Valerie Plame, is currently free pending indictment by a grand jury which has not been empaneled.

Meanwhile, former vice presidential aide I. Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby faces up to 30 years in prison for lying and obstructing justice during a probe which found that no crimes had been committed in the release of Valerie Plame’s name to reporters.

“If anyone needs a pardon,” said Mr. Bush, “it’s Joe Wilson. The only thing that kept him from lying to federal investigators is that they didn’t talk to him. I’m pardoning him today to preemptively put an end to the long national nightmare that we would have suffered if he had been charged for his crimes.”

Meanwhile, Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald said the CIA leak case is officially over, unless new evidence emerges.

“For example,” said Mr. Fitzgerald, “After Libby goes to prison, if he makes a false statement to a federal corrections officer in an effort to cover up jailhouse crimes that weren’t committed, that could blow this case wide open again.”

scrappleface.com
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