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Politics : GOPwinger Lies/Distortions/Omissions/Perversions of Truth

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From: Brumar893/24/2007 11:28:57 PM
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Jimmy Carter Offers To Mediate British/Iranian Hostage Crisis

Former President Jimmy Carter has stepped forward and offered to mediate the escalating crisis between Iran and Britain over 15 British marines seized by Iran for allegedly entering their territorial waters.

“As everyone knows, I have tremendous hands-on experience in handling a crisis of this nature,” said Carter, who spoke briefly to reporters during a break from building a house for former Guantanamo Bay prisoners. “And I understand the Iranians. The manner in which you negotiate with them is highly dependent on the specifics of the issue. And in this case, where their sovereignty has been violated by tea-loving imperialists, a deft touch is critical.”

Carter said that his people were reaching out to the British government to offer his assistance.

“I’m very much hoping that I get a chance to help,” he said. “I would tell the British that they need to look past the details of who-seized-who and what voltages were used during the interrogations and embrace this as a broader opportunity. An opportunity to take a good look in the mirror and ask themselves what role they played in this. When we signed the Algiers Accords to get our infidels– uh, personnel–released in 1981, many felt I was rewarding the hostage-takers. And I say, no: I was compensating the oppressed. And if that’s what I’m guilty of, I only regret that I didn’t have more to give.”

Carter went on to say that he thinks people will look back on the 1979-1981 incident differently as time passes.

“I think history is already showing us that the Iranians did not seize American hostages as much as they detained illegal foreign occupiers who were using an alleged “embassy” as a front,” said Carter. “In fact, I am launching an effort now to change the history books, so that we no longer refer to that incident as the Iranian Hostage Crisis but as the Iranian Anti-Zionist Uprising.”

And Carter admitted he had a more personal reason to want to visit Tehran.

“I would really like to get back to Iran and apologize for that botched rescue mission I got talked into. I can’t imagine what sort of debris those helicopters left on Iranian soil.”

thenoseonyourface.com
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