And another LMAO~~ In My World: Never Negotiate with Democrats
imao.us
Posted by Frank J. at 11:38 AM | 3 blog reactions
After a long day of shooting and getting shot at in Iraq, Buck the Marine headed back to camp. When he got there, he ran into the last thing he wanted to deal with... Democrats!
"We're here to support the troops," Harry Reid said with Nancy Pelosi standing behind him smiling her eerie, inhuman smile.
This can't be good, Buck thought but didn't say, trying to be respectful to the things from Congress. They were part of the federal government who paid for the Buck's bullets which he would then deposit into foreigners. "I appreciate the support."
"Let's add to the 'Support the Troops' bill that I get Buck's Nintendo DS.""Not so fast!" Nancy shrieked. "You don't get our support so easily!"
"We have to get something out of it first!" Reid looked Buck over and pointed to the object in Buck's hand. "What's that?"
"It's a Nintendo DS. It has a touchscreen," Buck explained. "When I get bored because there's no shooting, I shoot people on it."
"Well, I want it!" Reid turned to Pelosi. "Let's add to the 'Support the Troops' bill that I get Buck's Nintendo DS."
Pelosi wrote in a notepad. "And I want his DVDs. We'll put that in the bill too."
"Hey! You can't just take my stuff!"
"We're just trying to support the troops!" Reid seized Buck's rifle. "Until we're allowed to support the troops in our own way, you get no funding! That means no rifle and no bullets!"
"But that's what I use to kill for'ners!"
"And take off that body armor!" Pelosi yelled. "We're renting that, but you don't get it anymore until our demands are met."
Buck took off the body armor. "This seems like an odd way to support the troops."
Reid grabbed the body armor. "Are you questioning our patriotism?!"
"No; I'm sorry." Buck thought for a moment. "So, if I give you guys my Nintendo DS and my DVDs, will you give me my rifle and body armor back?"
Pelosi nodded. "Exactly... but we also want $24 million for sugar beets."
"Uh... sugar beets?"
"And $640 million for LIHEAP!" Reid said.
"I don't even know what that is."
"You don't need to." Reid adjusted his tie. "All you need to know is that's part of what it will cost to get us to support the troops."
"I don't have that kind of money; I'm just a simple Marine who likes shooting for'ners."
Pelosi smiled to the point that it looked like her skin was going to snap. "If you want to continue your mission here, you better tell Bush to give us everything we demand!"
"Well... I'll try." Buck was upset, but politics wasn't his job. Shooting foreigners was. "If you get everything you ask for, I can get my rifle back?"
Reid nodded. "Yes, you'll get our support and your funding... assuming you agree to surrender."
"Surrender? To you?"
"No, to... uh..." Reid thought for a moment. "Whoever it is you're supposed to be fighting here."
Buck was starting to get upset. "But I don't want to surrender!"
"Then you get no funding and you'll die here!" Reid shouted. "Muh ha ha ha!"
"Our demands must be met if you troops want any chance to survive!" Pelosi screamed. "Everything we want is outlined here!" She handed a list of demands to Buck.
He scanned through them. "A hundred million in unmarked bills and a fueled helicopter waiting for you! And a list of political prisoners you want released!" Buck glared at the two Democrats. "Are you sure you're not terrorists?"
Reid laughed. "We're Democrats; there's well established precedent of negotiating with Democrats when we threaten the livelihood of Americans!"
Buck shook his head. "I'm never going to understand politics." |
