OT: Darwin Awards
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious Winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
pulled
a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the
$20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer:
$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that
he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
head at
the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman
was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the purse snatcher They put him in the
car
and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer,
that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m. , flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated,
walked away.
****** A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to
steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
tank
by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
that
it was the best laugh he'd ever had. |
