What I am seeing looks eminently practical. Any idea why it didn't click?
If they had seen the roads in Northern Ontario, they would have realized that there was a real need for those kind of conveyances..
A Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay.But first he must find a job.
He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an 'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone. But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows.
The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree. "See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains." The Newfie promptly answers, "It's a Sitka spruce and contains 383 board feet of lumber." The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger door window. and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class. "It's a Douglas fir and has 690 board feet." says the Newfie.
Now the foreman is really impressed.The Newfie has answered quickly and got the answers right without even using a calculator! One more test. They drive a little farther down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road through his driver side window. "And what about that one?" Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, "A Yellow cedar, 242 board feet."
The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office. He's a little teed off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he. As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks the Newfie to step outside. He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there. I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree." The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot! How does he know which is the front of the tree?"
When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk. He runs back to the foreman and hands him the chalk. "That is the front of the tree," the Newfie states, cocksure. The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the hell do you know that's the front of the tree?" The Newfie looks down at his feet, while moving the toe of his left boot clockwise in the gravel, replies, "Cuz someone took a crap behind it."
He got the job.
In a small fishing village, a Newfie was walking up the wharf carrying two live lobsters, at least three pounds, one in each hand.
It was three weeks after the season closed! Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters, says: "Well me Laddie I got you this time -with two live lobsters three weeks after the Season closed!"
The Newfie says, "No - My Son you are wrong! These are two trained lobsters that I caught two weeks before the season ended."
The Fisheries Officer says, "Trained like how?"
"Well my son, each day I takes these two from my house down to the wharf and puts them in the water for a swim. While they swim I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke, or two. After about 15 minutes I whistles and up comes me two Lobsters, and I takes them home!"
"Likely story", the Fisheries Officer says, "Lets take them on down to the wharf and see if its true."
So, the Newfoundlander goes ahead of the Fisheries Officer to the end of the Wharf where, under supervision, he gently lowers both Lobsters into the Water. The Newfie sits on a Wharf Piling and lights up a smoke, then another.
After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the Newfie: "How about whistling?"
The Newfoundlander says "What For?"
The Fisheries Officer says, "To call in the Lobsters"
The Newfie says, "What Lobsters?"
EC<:-} |
