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Pastimes : Where the GIT's are going

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To: Honor First who wrote (145177)	6/4/2007 5:53:14 PM
From: Augustus Gloop	Read Replies (2) of 225578

Today is my parents 54th wedding anniversary and I was down getting dental work done so I stopped in. Sadly my parents have become like the Costanzas in their golden years. 54 years of marriage and here they were sitting in different rooms. I was going to talk with each of them but decided to ask them both to come out in the living-room. I have a 51 year old brother, a 50 year old sister and a 46 year old brother. I'm the baby at 41. For some reason they're more receptive to me than the other kids...I'm not sure why. But I sat them down and said I'll never know what its like to be married for 50 plus years - my chance for that is gone. But here you two reach a milestone that only a few people ever make and you live like strangers - bickering strangers! I said I'm not sure you guys realize this but even though your kids are grown up they still need mom & dad. They still need the comfort that you provided us as we were growing up. My dad had some strokes many years back and he's never been the same. But for those who know me they know I was the one that paid for those strokes. I'm not going into it but it was a bad scene. I talked with them about that day and said if I can forgive what happened why can't you two find a way to overlook the things that have separated you over the years? I just can't believe they worked their entire lives to live like this! They loved each other enough to have 4 kids and make it this far and now they're just rotten to each other. They live in a retirement association and I've taken notice that there are many just like them. The cost to the family is amazing and yet they wont put aside petty differences. I told them one of these days one of you two will buy the farm and right now you think that would be a relief. But when that day comes I know the surviving spouse is going to go through hell for the decisions made that got them to this point. About the only good thats come from this is that they've set an example of how not to live when you get older. Its hard on the family, it kills me and in their messed up way of thinking they think they're the only ones it impacts. I pretty much gave it to them between the eyes. I had no intention of letting them off the hook or allowing them to make excuses. By the time I left I could look at them and see they were really thinking about what I had said. It probably wont make a damn bit of difference 2 weeks from now but today it did. They didn't know it but I had an ulterior motive because I had bought them dinner out at a nice place for tonight. For maybe the first time in years they're going out for dinner alone and I hope as they look at each other they'll think about what I said. I can't ever imagine getting to that level with a spouse. I'd scream uncle way before I'd ever let it go that far. Here they are in their 70's - they're getting older, have less energy and things just aren't physically what they used to be for them. But they're willing to waste and expend the energy to be shitty to each other. I'll never understand it and I'll be damned if I'm going to work my entire life only to live that way. There is nothing golden about the way they're living now - I just hate watching it and I refuse to go down that road. I want to retire, travel, enjoy the kids and sail off into the pine box with a little pride that my (I guess future) wife and I pulled it off and live happily.

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