John Kerry likes limericks..pass these along to your friend:
>-A snobby gaunt eater of pickles,
and his wife, an enjoyer of prickles,
sneer at colleagues’ missteps
and hoi polloi schleps
as they pinch inherited nickles.
-There once was a Bay Stater pol,
Who thought he had married a doll,
When honeymoon ended,
Mr. Kerry lamented,
His doll was a chain with a ball.
-So he struck out at Senator Vitter
In a way a that’s as sad as it’s bitter
“cause Teresa’s huge stash
keeps John home counting her cash,
It acts like a big baby-sitter.
-There once was a phony named John
Who almost sailed in on a con
He thought he was shifty
But got beached by the Swifty
Now lives as a Gigolo Mon
-There once was a strange Gigolo
Who married and married for dough
He made up a war story
Puffed it up for his glory
But won’t sign his own one eight oh
-A horse-faced young man served in Nam,
Whose war record turned out to be sham.
When confronted with fact,
He swiftly attacked,
‘’I say, don’t you know who I am?’’
-There once was a man named Lurch
Whose comrades in arms he’d besmirch
His future was bright
The election was tight
Til Swift Boaters did their research
-There once was a Senator who told
Lies that were big and were bold.
Til those he despised
Torpedoed those lies
And now he is out in the cold.
-The man they call Kerry’s infected
His ego transplant was rejected
He thinks he’s so clever
Speaking smugly as ever
One of many reasons he wasn’t elected
-The monotoned Senator from Mass.
That shot himself right in the a**
Lied about the event
So it was home that he went
With a pat on the back from the brass.
-There once was a sailor named Jack,
Whose mates he stabbed in the back,
Televised testifyin’
For the press, medals flyin’
Kerry’s honor characterized by its lack
-There once was a sailor named John,
Who bragged of the deeds he had done,
He forgot to inform us,
Of the lies so enormous,
That led to the medals he won.
-He thought he would never be caught,
That all from that time had forgot,
That those who were there,
Would no longer care,
If his stories were truthful or not.
-He felt he was being quite nifty,
But along came a boatload of swifties,
Who refused to excuse,
All his lies and abuse,
And told the truth about Mister Shifty.
-There was a young fellow named Kerry,
Whose life was easy and merry,
He went off to war,
Some medals to score,
But came home his country to bury.
John Kerry’ secret MySpace entry:
"Hi there fellow bloggers. My name is United States Senator John Forbes Kerry from the great state of Massachusetts. You can call me JFK if you want. I was born on December 11, 1943, although people tell me that I look at least 20 years younger. It’s probably my great hair and rugged good looks.
I graduated from Yale in June 1966 in the top 1% of my class. To earn extra money during the summers, I loaded trucks in a grocery warehouse and sold encyclopedias door to door. That is probably one of the reasons that I am so humble. Over my four years at Yale, I maintained a 96 grade average and received a 101 average in my senior year.
I am one of the most senior members of that grand and much loved and respected institution known as the U.S. Senate. Probably the only living Senator even a little bit greater than me is my dear friend Ted Moore Kennedy. I also have a very high IQ. Very high. Much higher than that creep who stole the election from me. I know that he stole it because exit polls are never wrong.
I am also a great war hero. I set all kinds of records for heroism when I was in Vietnam. I was greviously wounded at least three times yet continued to insist on staying in the fight when lesser men would have given up. I won the bronze star with extra V’s for extra valor and the Silver Star for defeating a whole battalion of NVA with my bare hands.
I sometimes like to chill out after a long day of serving the American people by having a double martini with my good friend Ted. We usually have a servant bring 21 double martinis. I get one and Ted gets one for each of his fingers and each of his toes. Contrary to what some of my very few enemies say I never marry women for just their money. They must also have a pulse. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam? I was also in Cambodia, so don’t forget that!
I would like to think that I am open minded, honest, polite, and trustworthy. And I appreciate the same qualities in others.
Who I’d like to meet:
…other progressive bloggers. Other great war heroes who hate that damn S-T-U-P-I-D Texan in the White House. Cool people who live close to Washington D.C. so that we can get together, talk about you for about 30 seconds and then spend about 3 hours talking about me. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam and Cambodia?
Above talented limerick writers are friends of Michelle Malkin. |
