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Pastimes : Jokes
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From: Hawkmoon12/10/2007 11:37:39 AM
   of 2733
 
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED
AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY
ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets
CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is
MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY
REPETITIVE.

10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is
PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST
PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a
LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers
GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -He becomes
ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a
case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE
EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY
CHALLENGED

10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his crack you see hanging out of his
pants....It is MALE CLEAVAGE
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