To ALL !! - Democrats Formally Apologize for Existing
Fri Dec 14, 2007 at 03:30:45 PM PST
Democrats Formally Apologize for Existing
Washington, DC (Goiters) The Democrats lead by Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi made offical today their formal apology for existing.
"We offer a wholehearted apology, a mea culpa if you will for basically stealing the oxygen that could be going to the Republicans," Pelosi said, making herself as small as possible while she spoke.
"To add to what my unnecessary colleague said, I'd like to say, I'm truly sorry, truly utterly beside myself with sorrow at having to take up valuable space, especially in these post-9/11 times. I would like to just disappear, drop off the face of the earth if I could," Senate Majority "Leader" Harry Reid said.
The House Majority "Leader" Steny Hoyer weighed in on his party's Congressional irrelevancy and declared that he would make sure none of his colleagues would be heard from again. "Not on my watch," the Maryland Democrat said, "will we influence, decide or dispute law, policies of national or international import in any way, shape, or form. Did I forget to say national? Yes, national too."
So why are Democrats even taking up space on the national scene? Goiters Press Service asked, but not one was willing to go on the record and talk. Off the record one said: "We just are here to make the Republicans happy. Who said politics should be so confrontational? Now our motto is, 'I'm sorry I'm standing here, Senator,' and 'Congressman, how can I pass your Republican bill?' Since we can't literally disappear, it's the least we can do."
Expert in the field Joe Clone said that it was about time the Democrats apologized for their gaffe, that is, for living and breathing. "What were they thinking? Did they think they were going to get away with it?" Clone asked.
Reached while pushing aside some Democrats, Minority Leader McConnell declared, "I just don't know what they're doing here. They apologized? That' ain't enough! I want 'em gone. Or at least here shining my shoes."
Ohio Congressman Boehner said, "I was speaking to my colleagues about Speaker--um, what's her name...you know, comes from California, help me out, Italian, well that Speaker Lady, and...what was I talking about?"
That about sums it up for the Democrats.
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