AWIW: The Informer Muses ...
>> She cannae take it, Captain
The Informer
A Week in Wireless
Telcoms.com
01 February 2008
telecoms.com
The setting: Deep space. The USS Motorola, a personnel transport vessel carries a delegation of important civilian shareholders, en route to Profitability 9, a distant star system on the far side of the galaxy. The navigator's drunk.
On the bridge, Captain Greg Brown is locked in a fierce debate with Ambassador Carl Icahn, the leader of the civilian delegation. A terrible virus has struck that part of the ship where the walkie-talkies are kept, and many crew are infected. The virus is highly contagious and Captain Brown has sealed the infected sections of the vessel. Icahn, a pragmatist with only the safety of his mission on his mind, is trying to explain to Brown that there is only one option.
CI: You have to do this, Captain. It's the only way we can guarantee the survival of the rest of the crew and the passengers.
GB: Goddammit Excellency, these are my people. Good people.
CI: Nobody's denying that, Captain. But you have to think of the rest of us. You have to think of the mission. We must get to Profitability 9 - or we're all doomed.
GB: May God have mercy on our souls...
The Captain hits the 'jettison' button. As it spins away into space, the portholes of the discarded capsule fill with the faces of the unfortunates within, the breath from their unheard screams fogging the glass. Brown turns from the harrowing scene, a cloud of self-doubt on his face. Icahn places a hand on his shoulder.
CI: You did the right thing, Captain. History will judge you well.
Fade to black.
On Thursday, Motorola issued a statement about its handset business which indicates that the firm could be about to follow the wishes of Carl Icahn and the recent advice of Ovum's Martin Garner. The statement read as follows:
"Motorola today announced it is exploring the structural and strategic realignment of its businesses to better equip its Mobile Devices business to recapture global market leadership and to enhance shareholder value. The company's alternatives may include the separation of Mobile Devices from its other businesses in order to permit each business to grow and better serve its customers."
The only method the Informer can think of by which Moto could recapture global market leadership involves an awful lot of Semtex and the address of every factory and R&D building owned by Nokia, Samsung and Sony Ericsson. Odd, too, that while Motorola speaks of "alternatives" in its statement, it lists only one option. This makes it look not so much an alternative as an imperative.
Greg Brown added: "All of our businesses have exceptional people, products and intellectual property and the ability to achieve category leadership in their markets." Well, maybe, but Motorola certainly hasn't been able to figure out how to do it. Whether or not somebody else will succeed remains to be seen, but listing the attributes of personnel, IP and product in this way makes the statement read like a For Sale advert for a used car. ... <snip rest>. ###
- Eric - |
