How Manymoose Became A Grumpy Old Man And Wonders If Obama Can Add New Jobs For Government While Fixing This Mess, Or Will It Just Get Worse
True story.
ManyMoose has birthday. Driver's License expires after five years. ManyMoose takes a number at the DL place and waits to be called. ManyMoose's number comes up and he goes to the window where the young lady speaks pleasantly and asks for old DL, which ManyMoose presents.
Do you still live at 987234 MM street?
Yes.
What is your Social Security Number?
999-99-9999
What is your date of birth?
Many long years ago, before D-Day.
Mother's Maiden Name?
MMMama.
Oh, I'm sorry, your SS number does not match up with our database. What was it again?
999-99-9999.
I'm sorry, there's no match. You'll have to provide a valid SS number.
No, you fix it. How did MM get the DL he has if he didn't have the right SS number?
We didn't have this database then. You'll have to come back later.
No, you fix it.
I'm sorry, I can't do that. Here's the number of the SS office, 1-80D-ONTWORK.
ManyMoose gets out of line and calls 1-80D-ONTWORK. Machine answers. Please say and spell your name.
ManyMoose, M A N Y M O O S E.
I'm sorry, I didn't hear that.
ManyMoose, M A N Y M O O S E.
I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. Repeats several times. ManyMoose says,
Get me a person.
Finally, machine gives up and ManyMoose gets a person.
I'm sorry sir, I can't help you with that. You'll have to go to the local SS office.
Where's that?
Gives Address and phone number.
ManyMoose calls local SS office. Machine answers. After several attempts, a person comes on line. Asks for DOB, SS number, Mother's Maiden Name, Address. Oh, I see the problem. You are not ManyMoose, you are just AnyMoose. You'll have to come to our office to make a correction.
No, you fix it.
I can't do that, sir.
ManyMoose thanks the SS man and returns to the DL lady. She correlates ManyMoose's SS number with AnyMoose, and is satisfied that AnyMoose is really ManyMoose. Takes ManyMoose's money and tells him to get his picture taken, which ManyMoose does. Camera Man gives ManyMoose temporary license and says the new license will appear in the mail in a few days.
One week goes by.
ManyMoose drives to local SS Office, Takes Number, waits. Number is called. ManyMoose presents SS statements addressed to AnyMoose, original M. Moose SS card issued in 1958, and copies of many ID cards including draft card identifying ManyMoose as the real deal.
I see the problem. You will have to show me your birth certificate.
No, you fix it.
I can't do that, sir.
OK, please get me a supervisor.
Supervisor would tell you the same thing. We can't issue a change of your name without your birth certificate, except by Act of Congress.
Well, ManyMoose showed you all ID proving he is the real deal. My original SS card shows M. Moose, and all my ID shows that I am either M. Moose or ManyMoose. How did I get a SS card with the number 999-99-9999 on it if I am just AnyMoose? Fix it.
I can't do that sir. I would lose my job.
Who is going to know?
I will.
ManyMoose develops profound respect for SS lady for standing on her principles.
SS Lady takes ManyMoose's information on a form and asks ManyMoose to sign it. Says she will do what she can, but no promises. ManyMoose thanks SS Lady and departs, very frustrated.
ManyMoose arrives home and opens mail box. In the mail box, there is a full-color DL with ManyMoose's picture and the SS number 999-99-9999 on it. ManyMoose hopes he will get restored to ManyMoose status, as he is very definitely not just AnyMoose.
The End. One hour ago. |
