Hey, Bill! Welcome back to the country. I can see you've been gone for the past 8 years, so let me fill you in on what's been happening.
Seems this Bush guy was elected on a promise that he'd be better for business, great for the stock market, and would restore integrity to the White House. Also heard something about him being 'a uniter not a divider'.
Funny thing happened, though. Seems Bush and all the Republican lawmakers decided to take a sailing trip. Unfortunately, they took along a whole boatload of booze. One thing led to another, and what you'd expect happened: the country was being run by a bunch of drunken sailors.
I guess with Reagan and Goldwater forgotten, they also forgot how to be Republicans. Started spending money left and right, on all sorts of crap. Most of it on what they liked to call "spread'un deMOCracy", which stood for handing out a pile of dough to their business buddies at Halliburton.
Pretty soon, though, some of the ADults say the bill, and threw most of the drunken sailors out. Too bad, though, seems this Bush fellow has an ironclad contract. Good news is that contract is up in a few short months.
So, the ADults have been trying to clean up after the drunken sailors, but it is quite a mess. Will take YEARS to clean up.
Well, too bad you missed all that while you were out of the country. Guess you were lucky, though, not having to watch as the drunken fools staggered about and gave us such a bad rep. Anyway, the real good news is that we've found some guy with an African sounding name who makes sense and will hopefully start us on the long road of recovery.
Oh, and that guy Bush? Well, he wasn't very good for business, the stock market tanked, and he kinda left the White House smellin like a sewer. Not much on uniting, either. But maybe Pops will find him some other gig; if not, his buddies at Halliburton will always leave the light on for him... |
