THE CHARLOTTE SENTINEL, Sunday October 19, 1997
Section 42: THE LIVELY ARTS
BOOK REVIEW: "The First 20 Million Lines Are Always The Hardest", by Po' Boy Bronson. Random Error House, hardcover, 600 billion pages.
Bronson's third novel leaves the sunny climes of Silicon Valley for the down and dirty world of the "Year 2000 Crisis". A bold start up company called Secretariaat, Inc., run by its even bolder CEO Bob Goober, sets out to make a fortune solving the unglamorous "Millennium Bug", that threatens to destroy the world's computers.
Goober reinvents a former two-man car-repair outfit, turning it into a major player in the software world, and he doesn't care what he has to do to succeed.
From the typical one-dimensional Bronson characters, to the tiresome details of mainframe code and shady financing, this is a first-class yarn for everyone, not just those in the computer field.
Here's an excerpt:
It was a dark and stormy night. Several miles off Cape Hatteras, out of the reach of the SEC, a cluster of floating code factories rode the storm. The long Saturday shift was over, and the programmers were slumped in their quarters below decks, their minds frazzled from the long hours of code remediation, too exhausted to indulge in even the slightest recreational activity.
On one small skiff, however, a lone figure toiled into the night. Fernando, the doe-eyed intern, was putting in some overtime on the Aer Dingus account. "Those dumb clients!", he said to himself. "Why they not send us all the copybooks?" As Fernando pored over the dusty legacy code, he did not hear the cabin door open and softly close behind him. Suddenly, he started as a hand came to rest gently on his shoulder. His head turned, and his soft brown eyes widened with fear. It was Mr. Goober. Except for a leather racing helmet and a silk scarf, he was naked. His magnificent body was bathed in the eerie green glow from the banks of 3270 CRT's.
"No, Meester Goober, pleeease, not another private placement....."
The little boat rocked back and forth on the angry sea. Outside, the storm redoubled its fury...
(c) 1997 Jack King Feature Syndicate. All rights reversed. All characters and episodes are fictitious. No programmers were harmed in the creation of this material. |