Communist Humor
How I Became Unemployed
I worked as the general director of a large company. My coffee was prepared by a nice-looking secretary, and I drove to work in a top-end, company car. One day, Communist leaders arrived and told me to give 5,000 Czechoslovak crowns for the funeral of a Communist Central Committee member. I told them, “For 5,000 crowns, I will bury the entire central committee by myself.”
From that time, I worked as the director of a little branch office. My coffee was prepared by an old secretary, and I drove to work in a mid-level, company car. One day, Communist leaders arrived and asked me why I hadn’t attended the last Communist party meeting. I told them, “If I had known it was really the last meeting, I would have arrived with a large ‘Hooray!’ sign.”
From that time, I worked as a foreman. I carried my coffee in a thermos, and I drove to work in my own low-end automobile. On the wall of my work area, I had two posters: Husak (chief of the Czechoslovak Communist Party / President of Czechoslovakia) and a sexy Western movie star in a swimsuit.
One day, Communist leaders arrived and told me to take down that whore’s picture. So I took down Husak’s poster.
From that time, I worked as a ditch digger. I went to work on my bicycle. One day, Communist leaders arrived and told me, “Store your bike somewhere because a Russian delegation will tour the area.” I told the leaders, “Don’t worry—my bicycle is locked and has insurance.”
From that time, I am unemployed.
[From the Czech comedians Simek & Grossmann (both deceased). My next thread will be directly related to investing.] |
