Well, Alex, I'll jump up on the warm soapbox for a moment!!!! I'm not sure the kibbutz experiment in Israel really worked very well. They are certainly dying out!!! Almost everyone wants their own private space, and it seems that children actually like to live with, and be parented by . . . their parents!!!!! No surprises there!!!!
I wonder why it is that we are always trying to reinvent the wheel with families and living situations, hoping for something better. While it was really more convenient and supportive when families lived close by each other, not spread across a huge continent, what most people want is privacy, and autonomy. It would be nice to live in close knit villages where others could watch your children for awhile, and they could all play outside in safety. But from countless stories about dominating mothers-in-law, and other extended family members who often cause a slowly seething atmosphere in a house, it would seem that most young couples have enough trouble adapting to each other, and then going about a life where most of each other's needs are met, without throwing other people into the mix. It is hard to even keep a happy little nuclear family going, and getting used to living in that very tiny group takes adjustment.
As far as co-housing and other communal arrangements are concerned, the longevity of such groups is not notable!!!! But my biggest problem is that life is hard enough, and stressful enough, without having to have meetings about other people's music, and what the menu in the dining commons should be. Anytime I find myself discussing how to live rather than simply doing it, I feel I am losing experience and getting caught in a jam.
I really liked your comments about sexuality that you wrote to Mephisto. Sex without being in love may be a tiny bit of fun for the very young, but is nothing like the security of an exclusive, long relationship. You are right about the depth of trust necessary to truly relax and enjoy stuff!!! I particularly liked your stressing the flux involved in how to please your partner. So many couples get in ruts, believing that what they have worked out as mutually pleasurable should be endlessly repeated. Then it gets very boring!!!!
Incidentally, I would agree that motorcycle sex might be a little silly, and "The Joy of Sex" a little dated. I would say, though, that I had the time of my life once having sex while sprawled across the top of a vibrating dryer!!! The fact that the dryer was in the basement of my apartment building, and anyone could have walked in, made it even thrilling. But I don't think that would be as much fun now. It was, like the book, very Seventies or something!!!! |
