The Vast Liberal Media Conspiracy
Friday, December 8, 2006
Want to know where the war in Iraq is being lost? According to Tony Snow who recently (and constantly) criticizes the liberal media for portraying Iraq as anything but a mission accomplished, right here in New York City, the epicenter of the Vast Liberal Media Conspiracy. Here's our handy guide to the hangouts of the rapscallions, traitors, yellow-bellied muckrakers, cowards, scalliwags and bleeding hearts spread their lies.
Elaine's: The famed literary hangout is still a gathering spot for today's notorious liberal writers, politicos, and celebrities from Woody Allen to Lewis Lapham.
The New York Times Building: The belly of the beast, the New York Times Building is the powerhouse of liberal media. This is where Maureen Dowd and Nicholas Kristoff devise their editorials, poisoning the minds of unsuspecting readers everywhere. When the Times decided to relocate from downtown at the turn of the century, it agreed to move to the then-vacant 42nd St. area only if the city named the adjoining square after the paper (as it did with Herald Square). Its current location is on 43rd street, but the Times is moving to a new mondo skyscraper next year. The paper stopped giving tours of the building after 9/11....coincidence? We think not.
Jimmy's Corner: Right around the corner from the NY Times building, this is popular with the writers for after-work drinks.
Esca: The Batali seafood restaurant is also around the corner from the Times building and is another fave for NYT writers with expense accounts.
Ye Waverly Inn: Graydon Carter's highly anticipated new restaurant is already a hub for liberal conspirators and it is owned by Graydon Carter. And the Mac 'n' Cheese costs 55 dollars, some of that must be going to Al-Jazeera, right?
Michael's: Rival to Elaine's, Michael is another big time media hangout where the power publishers and news types go to be seen. Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer go here to kick it with Bill Clinton and Warren Buffet. Refrain from hot Buffet joke here.
National Arts Club: Founded by an art critic for the NY Times in 1898, the National Arts Club is a major hangout for artists, patrons, and writers. Membership is by invitation only and there are frequent lectures and a sweet bar with a stained glass ceiling. Until recently, it was also the home of the Accompanied Library, until that club for budding cabalists was ousted.
Air America: Just because it has filed for bankruptcy doesn't mean Air America isn't a potent force in the encroachment of the liberal agenda on the rest of the country. No, that no one listens to it means it isn't a potent force. Hang around long enough and you'll see Al Franken emerge, begging for change as he goes.
Harpers: 666 is commonly interpreted as the Mark of the Beast or the Antichrist. But 666 Broadway is also the address of Harper's Magazine. Coincidence? You decide.
CNN: When Anderson Cooper isn't posing with dirty emaciated children crawling through the rubble of the latest natural disaster, or walking in the park with his life partner, he is patting himself on the back for all of his relief efforts on national television, filmed at liberal CNN's New York bureau. Stand outside, TRL-style, with a placard reading, "I Know You Dye Your Hair, Blue Eyes!"
The New Yorker: Liberal beacon since 1924, The New Yorker claims to promote enlightenment and "hate bunk". It is no secret that by enlightenment they mean liberal values and by bunk they mean everything else. The New Yorker is housed in the Conde Nast building, the centerpiece of the redevelopment of 42nd Street. On the Times Square side of the building there is a seven-story electronic NASDAQ display screen.
HQ of Huff Po: Arianna Huffington, the queen of liberal media and recent Gawker frenemy, is based in Cali but she headquarters her uber lefty blog at Prince and Broadway in NYC. It is manned by noted lefty and soon-to-be 34 Rachel Sklar.
Tom & Jerry's: See post. A nearby Soho bar that caters to writers from the area's many left-wing pubs.
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