Jim. OT: Lawyer joke
Judge Jerry Buchmeyer of the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Texas writes a monthly article for the Texas Bar Journal. Often, he cites unusual exchanges between lawyers and witnesses, culled from depositions and trial transcripts. Here's a classic:
. . . . Lawyer: So, Doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of death of the patient?
. . . . Doctor: That's correct.
. . . . Lawyer: Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?
. . . . Doctor: No, I performed the autopsy.
. . . . Lawyer: OK, were you aware of his vital signs while he was
at the hospital?
. . . . Doctor: He came into the emergency room in shock and died
in the emergency room a short time after arriving.
. . . . Lawyer: Did you pronounce him dead at that time?
. . . . Doctor: No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I
was not involved with the patient initially.
. . . . Lawyer: Well, are you even sure, then, that he died in the
emergency room?
. . . . Doctor: That is what the records indicate.
. . . . Lawyer: But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced him dead, having not seen or physically examined the
patient at that time?
. . . . Doctor: The autopsy showed massive hemorrhage into the chest, and that was the cause of death.
. . . . Attorney: I understand that, but you were not actually present
to examine the patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?
. . . . Doctor: No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce him dead, but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in a jar over at the county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere.
Enjoy!
HL |
