Internal memo to FBN corporate executives:
These pre-IPO investors are really something! I went to all the trouble to reserve the Elk's lodge in Ottumwa, scheduled the cartoons, and made sure there was a copy of "Remediators of the Lost Annum" available ... and now they want to be fed, too.
Sheesh! ... what do they think we are? A legitimate revenue producing company?
OK, so I buckled under on this one. We're having hot dogs and chips, with lemon pie for dessert. I'm hoping nobody takes the 'lemon' as indicative of the company they invested in.
I've decided to have Sophia Loren be our guest speaker. Well, maybe not speaker. She won't have to say much. Just kinda' stand around and look ... uh ... er ... um ... nice. I wonder if she knows the words to "Singing in the rain"? I'd gladly provide the water hose.
The Mega-Merger is coming along nicely. All 5 companies think they're merging with us, when in reality it's a leveraged buyout. But, we have to get that share price way up there. So, keep telling those lies, people. We're really close now. Don't want to blow it this close to IPO date. I have taken the liberty of scheduling the corporate B52 for a flight to the Bahamas the day after the IPO. We should be able to unload several million shares on that day. Hopefully, we'll be able to get out of the country before any of those darned techies and analysts really get a chance to see what it is we do.
Regards,
TED |
