OT a bit:
From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada
A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among
left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and
agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at
night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
acreage borders North Dakota .
"The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a
latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.
Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't
give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario
border patr olman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking
water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have
been circulating about the M cCain administration establishing re-education
camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny
evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing
the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy
cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans
disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping
buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizen passengers on Perry Como and
Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we
get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
"I feel sorry for Ameri can liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art history and English
majors does one country need?" |
