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Laughter for Healing
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Red Skelton Museum Of American Comedy
Red Skelton Vaudeville Joke
A man goes into the confessional at church and says, "Forgive me, father. I have sinned."
The priest recognizes the man's voice. It is Charlie Smith, one of the most loyal, devoted members of the church. The priest says, "Charlie, I cannot believe that you, of all people, could possibly have committed a sin."
Charlie says, "Well, father, I am ashamed to admit that I did. My wife and I have been married for 42 years and for the last ten, we have been unable to have marital relations. And you cannot imagine what that is like, father. It just creates unbearable tension and causes my dear wife to believe that I do not love her, which is far, far from the truth."
"I understand," says the priest.
Charlie goes on: "Then, last Saturday evening, I looked at my wife and she was bending over a sack of potatoes. There was something about her at that moment...I suddenly experienced feelings I had not felt for a decade. I was suddenly filled with love and passion for my wife and I grabbed her and ripped her dress off and we made love, right there on that sack of potatoes. And that is how I have sinned, father."
The priest is puzzled. "That is not a sin, my son. The two of you are married...it is not a sin to express that love for your wife..."
There are tears in Charlie's voice as he gasps, "You mean it, father? You really mean it? We won't be thrown out of the church?"
The priest laughs. "Of course not. Why would we throw you out of the church?"
Charlie says, "Well, they threw us out of the Safeway." |
