Transplant this Bush back to Texas
Published: Saturday, January 17, 2009 10:29 PM EST
timesonline.com
We’ve bid adieu to a few useless locally elected leaders in the last few years and/or months, but today we say farewell to the Grand Champions of Failure, President George Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney.
Talk about setting the bar. Wow! These two have set a gold standard for dangerous incompetence that will only be surpassed if The Joker and The Penguin get elected. Come to think of it, that’s the duo we’ve had in there for eight years anyway.
No matter how cold it is Tuesday, we’ll be warm knowing they’re leaving. Both can continue on their latest failed mission, revising history to make it seem like they weren’t running the worst White House in history.Here’s a short list of international lowlights: Ignored warnings before Sept. 11, 2001, that al-Qaida wanted to attack America, manipulated intelligence to justify invading Iraq and then screwed up the war, approved torture, failed to smoke out Osama bin Laden, and destroyed America’s standing in the world — and, yes, all you One World Order conspiracy theorists, that is kind of important.
Back in the U.S. of A., we suffered through the botched response to Hurricane Katrina, countless scandals, record deficits, a Department of Justice politicized beyond anyone’s worst nightmare, the systematic dismantling of environmental laws, Karl Rove, and the worst economic meltdown since the Great Depression helped by lax oversight from Bush’s minions.
We’re going to really enjoy not having George and Dick to kick around anymore ... because doing so meant they’d inflicted some new horrible damage on this country. And, George, we wouldn’t be counting on that spot on Mount Rushmore any time soon if we were you.
Just sayin’...
TWISTED SISTER
Here are some excerpts from the teardrop-stained letter in last Sunday’s Times from losing Democratic state Senate candidate Jason Petrella’s sister, Robyn Petrella-Tsudis, and our responses:
• “We continue to read week after week articles surrounding Jason Petrella and his campaign” and Jason “received more news coverage after the election than he did during his campaign.” — Wrong on both counts, Sobbin’ Robyn.
Jason appeared in about 25 stories/columns between his Aug. 19 selection by the Democratic State Committee and the Nov. 4 election. And since the election? Nine stories/columns in November (many just passing references), one in December and two, um, make that three, in January. That’s 13, which is less than 25, Robyn.
We also love the irony of her writing a letter complaining about press coverage, which only fuels more press coverage. Classic.
• The Times is a “right-wing paper.” — Bush, Cheney, John McCain, Gov. Hockey Mom, Melissa Hart. Yep, we love them all. (Sigh.)
• Jason “continues to be victimized in the press.” No, Robyn, abused women and children are victims. People hit by drunk drivers are victims. Your brother was a political candidate. So, not only is your argument baseless, your analogy is insulting. Other than that, great job.
NO PEACE, GEESEAs payback for the recent goose hunt at Bradys Run Park, swarms of angry fowl are conducting guerilla attacks on humans. What? You think that US Airways plane in New York City “accidentally” got knocked down by some geese just innocently flying around? Yeah, right.
These kamikaze birds are obviously headed here. What chance to do we have against them? None, that’s what. Unless there was somewhere, say a lake, where we could lure them with the promise of delicious white bread and then blast’em all back to freaking Canada. Hmmm ... .
J.D. Prose can be reached online at jprose@timesonline.com. |
